Saturday, February 17, 2007


The wife took me to see the adaptation of the book Eragon this afternoon, and I was unfortunately, not surprised that the movie pretty much sucked. Very disappointing. Nothing will make me start to pick apart a movie faster than continuity errors or very slopping story-telling that creates seeming continuity errors and Eragon is chock-full of them. Perhaps most glaringly, there is a sequence in which its night time and Eragon sneaks into the house of Bron (who isn't his mentor yet). After he leaves he witnesses the butcher getting interrogates by the Eragonian equivalent of a Ringwraith, who divulges the location of E's farmhouse home as the far end of the valley (remember its nighttime). SO he goes racing home (night) and then gets picked up by the dragon and FLOWN to his farm (which is in ruins and burning) and by the time they get there is DAYTIME....Now I've heard of in-flight delays, but something tells me a fucking DRAGON wouldn't take all night to fucking FLY to the end of the valley. Ugh...that just begets further sloppiness - like when Little E does fly the dragon around (to get the hang of it) and Bron (now his mentor) follows them on horseback AS THEY SHOW E and the dragon flying over all sorts of different terrain (so either that horse has a jetpack rammed up its butt OR the continuity editor needs his ass kicked). Of course, throughout the scene they show Bron riding solo (in big wide-view lens so there is not mistake, he's galloping alone, apparently leaving behind E's horse and their supplies) but right at the end, bam, there is E's horse, with Bron holding the reins as they gallop along...Um, excuse me....where the hell did that horse come from?

Secondly, I believe its a very wise idea to avoid any swords-n-sorcery movie that employs Jeremy Irons, who "graced" the tortured Dungeons and Dragons movie as the pitiful bad guy. In Eragon, his character seems little more than a pale imitation of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings....

To be fair, my wife tells me the movie butchers the books quite badly, and in her words the books was "nowhere near as infantile." And honestly, since I haven't read the book, the thought that this movie was so bad it looked like an half-ass adaptation of a fantasy novel knockoff that a 15 year-old might write. So at least there's hope that the book is a half-way decent, half-way adult read. Cause the movie will only to appeal to the very young.

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