Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Breaking down MEO's Impact on the Cowgurls

MEO, the ex-Eagle wide receiver for whom I otherwise use the He-who-shall-not-be-named moniker, could be an awesome addition to the Cowboys offense. That is IF Bill Parcells is willing to feed MEO's ego and call about 15 MEO-first passing plays a game (like the Eagles did)...

However, I have put the MEO impact on the Cowpokes some thought and used a fairly standard box chart analytical method to develop four possible scenarios. Three have negative outcomes for the Cowboys (though from perspective of this Eagles fan, that is 75% goodness rate). I used two basic criteria for this analysis: MEO is getting his stats (YES/NO); Cowboys Team is winning (YES/NO). I define "stats" as MEO getting at least 6+ catches/game (thrown to at least 12 times); having at least 3-4 100+yd receiving game by Week 7 and scoring at a rate of ~ 1TD/game.

1) MEO is getting his stats/The 'Boys are winning - this is the ONLY scenario that is all smiles for the cowpokes...This is a rehash of the Eagles 2004 season, the Cowboys ride high, cruise through some early wins, torture bad defenses, and Sportscenters has showcased at least two long MEO run-after-catch TDs; little tantrums or comments get overlooked/glossed over by winning.

2) MEO is getting his stats but the Cowboys are NOT winning: bad news here, because eventually something akin to (am I am paraphrasing here): "I'm doin' my part" will come out of the piehole beneath MEO's nose...which of course, the press will "Blow out of porportion" and "misrepresent" because obviously MEO has never before blamed other teammates for not pulling their weight...

The final two are bad because they are premised on negative answers to the is MEO getting his stats portion of the analysis.

3) MEO not getting his stats (fair due, etc)/ Cowboys winning...Even if the 'Boys are winning, MEO will NOT be happy (though I suspect he will smile and probably at least say the right things about just wanting to contribute). Look MEO is a narcissist. He has this inborn aversion to success is seems...he just cannot deal with being happy...especially if observers may be giving credit for said success to someone else...Trust me, MEO will be moderately satisified if he is credited with getting the 'Boys over the top/being the missing ingredient, what have you, but if its the 'Boys running game and D that leads to 6-2 record and people are wondering why MEO only has 2 TDs...he will not be a happy camper, I don't care how wide he flashes that big smile.

4) MEO not getting his stats/Cowboys losing...this is my personal favorite, but unfortuantely the one I think it the least likely (damn). Its all bad here folks, if MEO is not producing and the team slips up a couple of weeks, the wolves be out and all over the story like, uh, a pack of wolves...umm...white on rice...stink on poo...R. Kelley on a teen? pick your favorite mixed metaphor...

What do y'all think?

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