Former Eagle Stricken with PFLB

I'd like to take a moment to address a serious issue afflicting many Americans: polyflabitis. This has recently hit home to many Eagles fans when former Eagles DT Corey Simon recently revealed that he too suffers from this deadly malaise. The story, exposed by the Philadelphia Daily News' Paul Domowitch, shifts the blame for Corey's absence from the Indianapolis Colts away from his gimpy knee to this deadly disease.

Just what is polyflabitis? It is the technical term for fat, lazy bastard (as shared with me by Parkwood) and is evidently a latent gene carried by many of us.

A visual comparison reveals the extent of the damage:

This is Corey in Philly

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

This is Corey after catching PFLB

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

One might notice the explosion of flab around the belly and ass - classic evidence of PLFB.

While PFLB afflicts many Americans, it is particularly virulent when combined with highly paid athletes...Apparently, when those who carry the PFLB gene sign a mega-bucks contract, it triggers an auto-immune response to cope with the new weightiness of the players' wallet, which most commonly results in swelling of the person-in-question's buttocks.

Corey became susceptible, as do many professional athletes, after signing a six-year, $30-million dollar contract with the Indianapolis Colts in August 2005, following a dispute with the Eagles over appropriate compensation....Observers remarked at the time Simon reported to camp that it would take a while for Simon to work into playing shape to help the Colts' run defense because it appeared that Corey had spent more time hitting the chips than the weights. (evidently preparing for a post-NFL career in competitive eating).

PFLB set in during a year in which Simon put the mass is amassing statistics...which for the record include a distinctly unimpressive 25 tackles and NO sacks (after averaging over 30 tackles and 6 sacks per year with the Eagles).

The disease has progressed to the point that Simon apparently has lost interest in making money....oh wait...he's already collected about $14 of the $30 million from the contract...so apparently he lost intererst in working to collect his money...I mean, honestly, why bother...he signed a six year contract, and collected almost half in one year....doesn't that make the working hard for the last FIVE years to collect nearly the same amount just seem, well, lame?

Gettin' Ready for 'Nawlins

Well, its taken a while for Iggles fans to stop talking about the big win over the Cowboys...but it is refreshing to see the team appears to have focused on their next opponent, the 4-1 New Orleans Saints, much quicker than us non-players...with that out of the way, its time to focus on what it will take to defeat said opponent...

Reasons for concern: first and foremost, the coach - Sean Payton. I hate this guy...well hate is not the right term...I despise this guy...he always has our number and concocts a gameplan than works well against JJ's defense...he's one the few in the league that have done so consistently.

two: He's got a competent QB who is playing well. Matter of fact, Coach P has the entire team playing well above themselves...they haven't been blowing people away, but 4-1 speaks for itself...

three: they've got a standout rookie, and he's not named Reggie Bush...WR Colston is playing his ass off...this isn't to say Reggie Bush hasn't been very good. He has. Colston those is big, rangy and fast...and he's producing. I think our secondary has been getting better each week. Joe Horn, Colston, Bush & Co. will provide another test for us.

four: defensively, they've got two ex-Eagles, Hollis Thomas and Mark Simoneau to help Payton devise more offensive schemes.

That said, I think so long as there is no emotional letdown the Eagles outmatch the Saints across the board. We're better along the lines, perhaps equal in the RB/WR skills positions, and superior at QB and TE. Defensively, our line is a match for anyone, our LBs are better and so is our secondary - no leaps and bounds better, but better. Special teams is at least a wash...Bush gives them an edge in the return game, but Harbaugh is an excellent coach.

As for shutting down an opponent's primary weapon. The Eagles have shown a propensity for not letting other teams' top playmakers from beating us this year. Andre Johnson did jack in Week 1, it wasn't Tiki that killed us in Week 2, Frank Gore did very little in Week 3 but cough up the ball on Patterson's 98 yd fumble return for a TD, Favre did zippo in Week 4, and we all know MEO's craptacular performance last week. This week its Reggie Bush, and I know, if the Eagles don't want him to, he ain't gonna do jack either.

More later, but that familiar excitement is building...its almost the weekend...too bad I gotta wait until Monday morning - AUGH!

Dallas-haters Rejoice: The Fuse is Lit

Hark! What doth mine eyes and ears observe this morning but a classic look-at-me tirade from Terrell Owens in today's Dallas Star-Telegram. The bum truly deserves the ME.O. moniker Those more forgiving than I might be tempted to overlook MEO's history, but I would caution those optimistic souls to not pin their hopes on the stability of footballs most narcissistic player. Before the season I calculated that MEO would give the Cowgurls one good season before imploding...so much for that one...

Now, those of us who follow the Eagles are being treated to an eerie deja-vu...MEO divulging his frustration to the local press..."I do have a problem when I don't feel like I'm involved enough. I know I can make a difference. That's not me being arrogant. (that's rich) I just know what I bring to the table." For those keeping count MEO just bolted out eight references to himself in just four little lines....no mention of the team....oops that's right...the M and the E are missing because now they are in "MEO"

I do have to saw, it IS more entertaining this time around...I about blew Diet Coke bubble out my nose when I listen to MEO yap on NFL Live this afternoon...

Word up Big D fans, the fuse to the powderkeg that is Owens has been lit...the ONLY thing left to determine is when it will go off. I can only hope that the Texans somehow speed the process along (don't think it'll happen, but wouldn't that be grand?)

My NFL Top 5 for Week 5

Here are my top 5 teams after Week 5 of the NFL season. (ed. note: these rankings are based on how well a team has played to this point in the season, NOT how good I think a particular team is overall, or what I think of any particular team's playoff chances)

1. Chicago Bears - simply put, playing the BEST all around football in either conference
2. Denver Broncos - playing lights out defense, and while they struggled against a stiff Ravens D, they scored enough to secure the W.
3. Philadelphia Eagles - McNabb is posting an MVP-caliber season, and the Eagles possess the most prolific offense in the game. I place them one rank below the Broncos based on the axiom that it is defense that wins championships, and our D could tighten it down a notch or two
4. New England Patriots - have found themselves an excellent back in Maroney, some one who should allow them to keep Corey Dillon fresh all year, which is bad news for the AFC East. Plus they still have Tom Brady making plays and a defense that is more than a match for their division rivals...damn, and I was hoping the Pats would fade away gracefully
5. San Diego Chargers - after dropping a painful game to the Ravens by playing Marty-ball, the Chargers bounced back nicely by trouncing the defending champs. The D is pretty good and Phillip Rivers is playing well. If they can get LT going...look out...

Again these are just my thoughts on who is playing the best through the first five weeks of the season. Teams that were also considered:
Honorable Mention AFC: Indianapolis Colts (yeah, 5-0, but just barely, find a run D fellas) and the Cincinnati Bengals (probably left off because they didn't play this week and I want to see how'll they rebound from the ass-whuppin' the Patriots laid on them in Week 4)
Honorable Mention NFC: Atlanta Falcons (powerful running game and a renewed focus have propelled them to good performances thus far, still think Vick is a mediocre QB) and the St. Louis Rams (didn't expect them eh? 4-1, playing much better D than I thought possible, and showing a spark of the old-style "greatest show" Rams offense...this week they have a chance to do in Seattle what Eagles did in Week 5, put a stamp on their division...a win over the Seahawks would make me look very smart too based on my pre-season prognostications)

What Time is it?

First, a note from your sponsor: Thank you for stopping by, its cool that people actually click on over and check out my blog. I am going to try and embed some Eagles clips for added enjoyment, and put some more links along the side...(thinking some "Best of" or favorite rankings, movies, books, games, teams, etc). Allow me also to extend a hand of gratitude to those souls who spend some time each week uploading Eagles related videos to the web...your fellow citizens, service-members and Eagles fans overseas REALLY appreciate it. THANKS!

A curious statistics from Sunday win over the Cowboys...apparently the cowpokes had 30 more offensive plays, and won the time of possession battle by a wide margin (37:00 to 23:00). Conventional wisdom suggests that this should have spelled certain doom for our beloved Birds.

So why didn't it? Two words: quick strikes. This was enabled early by turnovers...the Eagles started fast, but fumbled...then a muffed punt quickly followed and the Birds suddenly had the ball inside the 10. So, instead of a scoring drive it was more of scoring poke...then they got it right back on the sack/fumble of Tooslow...and the Eagles got another gimme score (a FG); so 10 of the 31 points scored by the Offense happened very fast...and the quick-strike theme continued throughout the game, the other 3 TDs the Eagles scored came: 1) on the heels of a 60-yard bomb to TE L.J. Smith (the first play of a drive), 2) an 87-yard Bomb to Hank Baskett, (here is the same play but better because its the local play-by-play with Merrill) the first play of a "drive" when McNabb anticipated a corner blitz and told the rookie to go deep in the huddle, and finally a 40-yard flea-flicker to Reggie Brown (the 4th play of the "drive")....so in reality the Eagles offense wound up sprinting not marching down the field, sort of like Lito's 102-yd INT return for a TD...which by the way make him the only player in NFL history with TWO 100+ yard interception returns for touchdowns. (isn't YouTube great?)

Ok, I agree with other folks that it is a bad idea to allow the opposing team to control so much of the clock and run so many more offensive plays...but you score where you can, when you can...Its as simple as that...the name of the game is winning, and the Eagles needed every point and every big play to triumph over a tough opponent. I will take it, just so long as Andy Reid and Marty Mohrningwheg don't get overly infatuated with scoring in 30 seconds...give that D a break fellas...lets run the ball a little bit...especially on 3rd and inches.

Thus endeth the rant

An Instant Classic - Its MEO's Party

This is an instant classic on YouTube...(no wonder Google bought it...its practically a license to print money)...especially for anyone who still has any doubts about that MEO is a cancer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YwYVbSMVEM

I will REALLY be rooting for the Texans this week. I don't expect they'll be able pull off an upset in Irving...but wouldn't it be sweet to see some more stompin' and hootin'...like some sort of mutant line dance in Big D.

Eagles in Misawa Too? Now How About That

Ok, so I just relocated some 5,000 miles from Hawaii to Misawa Japan

Here it is on a map:

Any guesses what the mascot of the local base Robert Edgren High is? That's right its the Edgren Eagles...

ha ha, so the great E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles chant still applies, even way out here in kebumfrick north Japan...

The Ultimate Apologist

You know how ESPN show the "Ultimate Highlight" each Sunday ?? (which by the way should not be viewed by those with epilepsy or attention spans measured in units of time longer than milliseconds)...well I propose a new segment that ESPN can air every week during Monday Night Countdown...having Michael Irvin be the "Ultimate Apologist"...a weekly chronicle for the former, most accomplished, drug-loving Cowboy wide receiver to make excuses for the current, most notorious, pill-popping Cowboy wide receiver's behavior.

Irvin actually defends 81 for yelling at teammates on the sidelines, saying "someone needs to say something"....but is it MEO's job to be person to get in the face of the O-line or the WR coach. ummm, as a fan who experienced the MEO erosion of team unity, the answer is an EMPHATIC NO

So let me offer up a hearty laugh at MEO's "I'm not here to point fingers" comment that came right after he threw Bledslow under the bus for his horrendous performance yesterday.

Here is an excerpt from MEO post-game PC: "You watched the game. Who's pulling the trigger? I'm just out there doing my job. I'm not trying to point fingers at anybody, but you guys know just as well as I know." Bledsoe, Parcells, and the Cowboys faithful better get real used to those sorts of snide, back-handed insinuations.

A few Online stories about the Eagles Triumph at the Linc

I don't know about you all, but one thing I do enjoy after beating a division opponent is reading the drivel from their local sportswriters...

Here are few links to stories by the Dallas beat writers:
Big Plays Cost Cowboys ; this guy is bitchin about how the Cowgurls have reduced Owens to the most expensive decoy in the NFL ; while this dude is clearly off the Bledslow bandwagon...

Hee hee...a few national writers chimed in as well...
Clark Judge as CBS Sportsline rightly focuses on McNabb and his near-psychic ability his displayed on the bomb to Baskett; a short blurb from the NY Daily News (guess their all busy writing about the resurrection of the GYNts season...now if only Shockey would step up his play instead of his mouth), and finally some Bank Shots....

One amusing item from the end of Banks' column was the revelation that the Eagles issued some 737 press credentials for the "return of MEO" with even Al Jazerra -- the Muslim TV network -- requesting press credentials. al Jazerra? Did they think maybe they could recruit Owens as a potential suicide bomber or something?

My favorite Eagles shot of the Day

Been a little while since we've seen Dawk grab one...but that was #29 all time for him...What a safety...one of the all time greats folks, one of the all time greats...

This Sums up MEO's day

McNabb Comes Through Big

Well well well, MEO chokes and McNabb comes through is the clutch...hmmm...so much for all the Dallas fans deriding Donovan prior to the game...what did he do today, 18-33 for 354 yards and 2 TDs...with Bledslow screwing around for 223 yards and 3 Ints.

Here are my 5 stars of the game:

***** - McNabb, he was the engine for this team today. It looked like Westbrook would be the catalyst as the game opened, but it turned out to be 5 making the plays with his arm in the second half
**** - Lito Sheppard, played a gutsy, gutsy game...and redeemed himself not once but twice after dropping an easy INT in the first half...first game back coming off a sprained ankle, what a player...plus he bailed out his teammates by cinching the game with that 102-yard INT return for the TD
*** - Darren Howard and the entire D-Line, it seems like Howard was EVERYWHERE today, and the D-Line racked up all seven of the Eagles sacks today...wow...nice job fellas...
** - Joselio Hanson, doth mine eye deceive me, or did little #22 take MEO's measure in this game and stack-up pretty well. Whodathunkit? Nice job dude, nice job
* - Hank Baskett, another whodat player to most football fans, Baskett became the 5th Eagles leading receiver in 5 games. Now THAT is what I call spreading the ball around...Moreover, he also redeemed himself nicely in the second half after allowing a long gain to bounce away from him in the first quarter.
More later...gotta watch Donovan talk at the PC on the webchat...

Damn its EARLY - Monday Morning Football

My internal alarm clock tick-tocked me until about 0150 this morning (had the alarm set for 2), so I managed to get up without disturbing my wife (whew)....The dogs, now they're another story. The good news from this morning, the rain finally cleared out so the satellite signal has been pretty good. AFN is showing the 'Skins-GYNts game, and the Philly game starts in about 45 minutes and the excitement is building....

Actually got a second game today (they had baseball on the schedule but I guess all the games are over)...the Korea channel is showing NASCAR (yawn). So I got a chance to see the Bears demolish the Bills. I gotta say it again, the Bears are IMPRESSIVE...I don't want to see the Iggles have to play in Soldier Field, so they better take care of business against the Cowboys today. After they got up 30-0 the coverage switched to Miami and New England...and lo and behold: whom did I see playing QB for the Fins? Joey frickin' Harrington...OMG...and Dan Dierdorf is talking about great he's been playing...umm...guess that must've been before I tuned in, because the Patriots don't look the least bit perturbed...they haven't sacked him yet, but he looked about as good as I saw in Detroit...speaking of...I lost my best fantasy WR when Fox showed Roy Williams being carted off with a shoulder injury...DAMN...

Fantasy note to self: IGNORE the so-called Experts...oh yeah, time to start Joe Addai, the Tennessee defense sucks...Indy will run up the score...its 13-7 Titans in the 4th quarter and Addai has amassed all of 50 yards...FRACK...
HA HA, Fox just showed the fans giving MEO hell during warm-ups...where are the empty pill bottles?
Wow, that heated toilet-seat is a godsend...very necessary in Japan, however, because the toilet get its own little room in Japanese houses, and its NOT heated...
Jeez, the Bears are up 40-0 now...I mean how many drives can you have starting on the opponents side of the field...I think the Bears O has cashed in at least 4 times...well Christina will be happy...ofcourse, I failed to started WR Berrian...jeez....WTF...I thought I had...damn...

Approximating the Take-off Velocity for a Wiener Dog

Never seen anything quite like this...it has been raining...no, its been POURING since about 12 noon yesterday (Friday afternoon our time)....its now nearly noon on Saturday and neither the wind nor the rain has let up one iota...The winds are "Chicago-style" and its a good thing dachshunds are built low to the ground, because whenever they venture outside their ears flap so fast it looks like they are preparing for flight. I am not sure our backyard has adequate space for a weiner dog to achieve take-off velocity, but they looked darn close.

Look, it would be one thing if the rain let up every once-in-a-while, but I haven't seen rain dump out of the sky like this for so long and in such tremendous amounts...I half expect to see a little Japanese Noah out building a wooden ship in one of the rice we pass on the way to base...

No wonder all the faucets here in Misawa jet water out like their connected directly to fire hydrants. I think Japan could improve relations with China by exporting some of this water to the parched Chinese.

As of course the weather if playing hell with the satellite, so its look like a Battlestar Galactica on DVD Saturday....

THe good news: the rain should be gone by Monday morning, and AFN is showing both NFC East games this week...so it'll be "up at 0130" for me again...

Setting the Circus Aside and Previewing a Potential key Player on Sunday: Safety Sean Considine

Lots of chatter on-line because it Cowboys week in Philadelphia and we all know that he-who-must-not-be-named will be making his first appearance in the Linc since performing his one-man emotional wrecking ball act on the team psyche last year.

BUT, I am NOT here to talk about that...or rather, I hope you all didn't show up to read claptrap about that narcissistic retard...

Go here: If you want a good primer on how to welcome MEO back to the LINC Its both funny and informative and there is no way I can top it, so I linked to it.

What I'd like to do this week is focus in on what I feel are a few keys for the Eagles in Sunday's game. I could be overthinking this, but one overlooked player who could play a big role on Sunday in Safety Sean Considine...

Consider this: Jim Johnson had modified Brian Dawkins' role in the defense. Is he still the quarterback of the DBs, sure, but he has playing a bit more run support, probably because his skills as a sideline-to-sideline romper stomper have slipped a notch. This isn't to say that Dawk cannot still move around...check my previous blogs...I think Dawk looks rejuvenated this year, but face it...he may be an all-time great safety, but he is not the players he was 5 years ago...that is why I love what JJ is doing, Dawk is suited and capable of playing a "Polamalu-esque" role for the Eagles...

But back to Considine..am I the only one that has noticed some of the hits 37 has been delivering? He's not an all-pro ball hawk yet, but it looks like he is coming around and finding his place in this defense... WHY is this important? I am glad you asked. It has allowed JJ to use Dawkins in this modified role...if JJ didn't have another guy capable of running all over the field and putting his hat on the ball, he wouldn't have the option of bringing Dawkins up in a psuedo-linebacker role.

As to how this could play out on Sunday, if Sheppard is back, then JJ can insert Considine in a nickel role and move Dawkins up (if necessary), giving the Eagles a "nickel" look without sacrificing much against the run. Considine has the range to be the over-the-top rolls coverage guy, probably one of the few deficiencies in SS Michael Lewis' game....

A non-player key: PLAYING UNDER CONTROL. A lot of Philly phans would like nothing better than to see Trotter and Dawkins virtually decapitate 81 should he venture across the middle. While I cannot say this would displease me either, I am a much stronger advocate of sound tackling. I would much rather see the Eagles DBs do a solid job of making sure 81 hits the turf shortly after catching a 5 yard dink-pass than in seeing Michael Lewis try and line up a kill shot...I have two examples of how the kill shot back-fired last week....The Jags safety against Santana Moss in OT and Chargers "all-everything" LB Merriman against the Ravens...both players seemed intent on trying to get on TJ's "Jacked Up" segment...The Jags player whiffed, and Moss scorched his ass for the game-winning TD...Like Raven TE Tood Heap, who instead of being soundly wrapped up at the 3 or 4 (and maybe stretching out to the 2), bounced off Merriman's all-or-nothing body launch and landed his outstretched arms in the endzone for the game-winning score...See my point...Just get MEO on the ground fellas

You ain't seen bureaucracy until you've visited Japan's DMV

Ok folks, its official, I can no longer criticize the stifling slowness and bureaucratic stupidity of any State-side Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) office...(Ok, I guess I still could, but the reasons would be different)...

Well this morning I was introduced to the Japanese DMV as I traversed some twists and turns in registering our "new" Nissan Stagea (think station wagon) in our name...the closest DMV to Misawa Airbase is about 40 minutes outside base, in the city of Hachinohe. So we got there shortly after 9am, and the parking lot was pleasantly empty...a good sign, or so I thought.

Well all of my wife and I's preparatory work (getting the insurance, and the all the proper forms from the base police) did pay off somewhat...

Hachinohe's DMV works something like this:

Step 1: enter and go to Window 2 (I didn't see a Window #1, but there might have been one)...turn in paperwork to clerk, uttering traditional morning greeting Ohayo (pronounced O-hio) followed by a series of grunts and nods and pointing the stack of papers to confirm with him that yes, you are indeed there to perform some sort of DMV-related task and hoping that he can figure out what you need without any other sort of formal conversation...

Step 2: wait..about 5-10 minutes later the clerk will return the sheaf of paperwork to you. You may now proceed to step 3

Step 3: the clerk grunts and points at map on the counter, you eventually interpolate this as instructions to go to Window 12 (note: saying "twelve" to the clerk will be a nodding return grunt of something that resembles the English pronunciation of twelve, at least this lead clerk remembered some of his high school English)

Step 4: Finding Window 12...which is in, of course, an entirely different building, conveniently located directly behind the building you entered first...exit, wander around back and look around for something labeled 12...its easy to find...step up to Window 12...and proceed with the next step.

Step 5: Handover sheaf of paperwork to the woman working at Window 12, which is named the "Application forms window"...repeat the greeting/grunting/nodding ritual performed during Step 1. Hang loose for the next step, practice finding your zen.

Step 6: wait...about 15-30 minutes later, the clerk will wave you back and kindly slip you two receipts, and all of your paperwork (which apparently has been dutifully shuffled between the half-dozen or so workers sitting behind the counter at various desks. She then shows you a calculator that reads out about 2,800 Yen (that slightly less than $28 to you and me)...time to pay up...hope you remembered your Yen...once you get your change you are instructed to return to Window 2.

Step 7: Re-trace steps back to Window 2, and hand-over the receipts that confirm you've paid the fee for all the forms the Japanese are consuming while shuffling your registration request between the two buildings...

Step 8: wait...about 10-15 minutes later you will be waved back to Window 2 and given a screw-driver...your instructions: remove your old Japanese plates and turn them in to Window 14.

Step 9: take off your plates, and wander around to the back of the second building again and turn in your plates...you are given a receipt that says you've turned in your plates (no real words are needed here, just a nod or two and a "domo" or "domo arigato") and instructed that it is time, once again, to visit Window 2...

Step 10: Trek back to the first building, clutching receipts and dutifully turn them in to the waiting clerk (its helps if you catch when he's not busy helping another client...cause the morning is getting on and more and more Japanese are showing up to shuttle their way between buildings)..note: DO NOT return the screw-driver you need that later...

Step 11: Wait...5-15 minutes afterward the clerks will again summon you forth with a head nod and a slight grin (afterall, at this point the two of you are practically on a first-grunt basis) for your next expedition to building 2.
Your mission is two-fold: venture to Window 16 and pay your Road Tax...and shimmy over to Window 14 to buy your new plates.

Step 12: Trudge to Window 16...and get pointed (very politely pointed) over to Window 15, whereat you grunt your paperwork over to another very attentive clerk, who will reef through your hefty stack of papers, stamping some in blue and others in red. No need to sit, this guy is a stamping-demon, and will quickly finish adorning every piece of paper you have with some form of very official looking stamp. Next, you guessed it, a very polite instruction for you to turn right and shuffle over to Window 16, where...

Step 13: You will turn in the stamped sheets, and be given a calculator with a figure on it...be prepared to cough up more Yen to pay whatever this figure is...In my case, the Road Tax on our Nissan was 7,900 Yen (or about $79 to you staties)....you are then instructed (extremely politely) to have a seat.

Step 14: wait...you may not know it yet, but your DMV journey is nearing its end-game...in about 5 minutes you will be given whatever change is due and handed back your paperwork...its time to complete the second part of the mission: new plates...

Step 15: trundle on over to Window 14 (the same one you got your receipt from earlier), perform the standard grin-n-grunt and show the clerk all your colorfully stamped paperwork...rest assured you need not know which one she needs to see...she'll recognize it, even if you don't....grab a seat

Step 16: wait...less than 5 minutes later you will be summoned back to Window 14 and shown a calculator...you know the drill by now...cough up whatever amount of Yen happens to be necessary to get the clerk to fork over your damn plates....should be about 1,550 Yen (you know how much that is?? Well I ain't sayin', perform some deductive reasoning and figure it out.) The clerk will hand you a little baggie that has 4 new screws and small silver circular open-top tab (note: this circular tab is extremely important as it apparently plays some mystical role in Japanese DMV history, so DON'T discard it!!!)

Step 17: Return back out front (you do remember where you parked, right?) and use the screw-driver you remembered to keep to put your hard-won plates on your car....Are you done? Can you get in and drive away, after at least 2 hours and 3 payments and tons of grunts and domos?

Not until you've completed the final step:

Step 18: Look up from the kneeling position as you finish screwing in the final screw on the back plate (note: make sure the silver circular tab is on the top left of the back plate) and you should see a golden aura surrounding a little Japanese woman who is trundling busily out to your car....When she gets there she will ask (extremely politely) for you to pop the hood, will verify your VIN number, and only then, will apply a silver cover to the circular tab you've dutifully put on the upper left of the back plate (which apparently is the final act to all vehicularly-associated rituals here in Japan)....and THAT IS IT FOLKS....You have completed your DMV initiation...you are now a registered car owner in Japan...all you have to do now, is return to the Base police and get the completely disinterested Senior Airman to pay attention to you so you can get your base-pass issued....but THAT is another story.

One final note: the pain of this process is ameliorated greatly by the incredible and unending courtesy that the Japanes extend towards all their customers at all times...Unlike a US-related experience, wherein disinterested people look at you like they do when inspecting the soles of their shoes for dogshit....

What about that Fake FG against Green Bay?

A lot of chatter in Eagle-land about the seemingly goofball fake FG call that came on what was supposed to be 54-yard FG attempt from David Akers right before the half in Monday night's game against the Packers...There was a lot of "what was coach Andy Reid thinking? talk going on after what on the surface looks like a bonehead coaching call...In my opinion: Reid's mea cupla at the post-game press conference had nothing to do with reality and everything to do with protecting whichever players changed the play at the line-of-scrimmage...Someone on the field obviously thought they saw something that wasn't there and audibled at the line...Why else would the cameras have caught Coach Reid gazing in utter, stupefied amazement at the players on the field just prior to walking into the tunnel at half-time? After the game though, he was all "it was my call, I didn't recognize the coverage..yadda yadda yadda...BULL...Andy was doing what any coach worth his salt would do: protect his players by doing what he shown a distinct and endearing willingness to do: take all blame and heap all the bad things/pressure on himself. He knows Dallas is coming to town...so why throw a players "under the bus" by showing he was just a surprised as the rest of us when Akers wound up throwing a pass instead of booting a moonshot to give us a 10-9 halftime lead...Others may disagree, but I see it as a class move by Coach Reid.

The Good and the Bad from the win over the Pack

My pluses:
+ McNabb running the ball effectively to start the 3rd quarter and get that opening drive to snatch the lead...
+ Turnovers!!! I asked for some picks and I received...of course I did not expect LaJuan Ramsey to actually have one...but I'll take it
+ Points given up: 9...after surrendering a garbage time TD to the 49ers it was encouraging to see the D stand up and deny the Packers at the goal line...THAT is playing a full 60 minutes...
+ Nice defense adjustments at half time, plus a few key drops by Packers wideout. It was the Packers turn to look discombobulated in the second half, and they went from looking like a confident offense to a halting one by the midway point of the third quarter...

Minuses:
- TURNOVERS...Buckhalter is lucky he's still in uniform after coughing up the ball inside the 5 not once but twice...I know it was exchange the first time, but you know what, you gotta secure that ball...
- McNabb low-balling his receivers in the first half...calm down 5 and quit overthrowing things...
- A seeming inability to react to the underneath passes that McCarthy had Favre throwing the entire first half...I think that's the reason we didn't get any sacks...Brett was dumping the ball off so damn fast...in the second half, we got decent pressure and it would've been nice to snag the old man once or twice...they did get in some licks, but nothing that goes in any stat column...

Oddity of the week: At the quarter pole of the season Peyton Manning has as many rushing touchdowns as Edgerrin James...2...think Edge misses that Colts offensive line yet?

Tuesday Morning Football

What in the HELL is up with Buckhalter? OK, one fumble inside the red zone is bad enough. But two? TWO? That is just unsatisfactory...so is Donovan dancing around and taking sacks in the first half....What was going on there...the team looked discombobulated without Westbrook in the first half...

whew...it seems they got their heads out of their asses at half-time, cause the second half has been a different story...5 is running for big first downs and the Eagles just took a 10-9 lead to open the second half...good.

NOW we're cooking...Bomb to Lewis...Nice throw Donovan!...
Interception! By Ramsey of all people!...HA HA HA HA HA...the dude needs a turn signal to reverse field...This is more along the lines of what I was expecting...some turnovers, a stiffer defense (just a bit, still concerned about the secondary)

Anyone know what happened to Reggie or Donte?? Oh ok, Andy Reid said Donte tweaked the hammy again...good to see them take him out and let him rest early. Sprained shoulder for Reggie doesn't sound too encouraging. Reid taking responsibility for the fake FG? That a coach for ya...it HAD to be a line call, Reid looked befuddled at the snap, no way he called that...he's just taking one for his players...

My take from the game: wow, boy...do we need Westbrook...get well soon lil dude.
D Gunn says Sheppard is going to be back for the Cowboys game...they'll need 'im...and Rod Hood too...they gonna need everyone playing good to take on a good Dallas team. This ain't the befuddled 'Boys of a few years ago...

What's it like watching Football from Japan and Impressions from Week 4

Well well folks,
I am truly back online. We finally got our Internet service up and running from Japan's NTT. The process of getting online service here in Japan was not that complicated, but it took a lot of patience. We had all of our equipment on Friday, but I had to wait until this morning to actually try and hook it up. I don't know why, the Japanese simply weren't going to flip the switch until sometime between 9-12 today (that's during Sunday Night football for you all back in the States). Yeah, so I missed out on the 610WIP suicide pool pick...dang

So what is it like watching football from Japan?
Well for starters I had to get up at 0130 (that's in the AM for all you non-military time readers) just so I could take a few groggy moment before the kickoffs (at 0200). Here is the one cool thing: I get 3 choices for the early game time-slot game, and 3 choices for the late game time-slot. Our satellite only gets a few channels, but Armed Forces Network gives service-member the hook up. AFN Sports showed ESPN pre-game, AFN Atlantic showed FOX pre-game, and AFN Korea showed CBS pre-game (Man there is something not right about JB being on that show)....Early game choices were: Chargers at Ravens, Saints at Panthers and Colts at Jets...
Late games were Pats at Bengals, Lions at Rams and Jaguars at Redskins. Not too shabby. Factor in that the Eagles-Cowgurls game next week is the only one on Fox's late slate and I should get to see that one no problem.

Right now I am just psyched that I get to sleep in a little bit and then hopefully watch my Iggles kick the crap out of the Packers on Tuesday morning football.

Ok so here some impressions from Week 4:

- I just watched the Bears annihilate the Seahawks...can Shaun Alexander really mean that much to the 'Hawks? I guess so, cause they looked totally impotent on offense coming off a week in which they absolutely torched the Giants...What does this say about the Bears...well, I think my prediction that they will take the NFC North is secure...as for the rest of the NFC, well we better figure out how to score on Chicago cause it looks like they found a little bit of offense to go with that D
- I am not a Carolina fan, but that roughing the passer penalty against Julius Peppers was bogus. I mean if a defender pulls up when the QB gets rid of the ball, like Peppers did, then how in good conscience can the refs call a "roughing" penalty for bumping into the guy. For cripes sake, one second these guys are going full bore, and a split second later its hands off? Lets have a little common sense please. Panthers got the last laugh though...evening their record at the expense of the Saints 21-18.
- The Mangini Conundrum: 4th and goal tied 14-14 in the 3rd quarter against the Colts...what do you do? Personally, I think Mangini screwed up but not taking the points...It almost any scenario I can contemplate "leaving points on the field" is a bad, bad idea; and that is exactly what the rookie head coach did. I don't want to get to into this...hindsight is 20/20 and all that, but I think there are times to show your team that you are being aggressive (onside kicks, going to for two points, etc) and times when its a plain old mistake...
- The Pats made a statement game, thats for sure...they sure found a keeper at RB too, with ELMO (Mauroney)...jeez they kicked the crap out of the Ben-gals and looked real good doing it. Methinks this was just the type of game they needed to get Deion Branch out of Brady's system.
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