A Movie Friday

Well folks, let me say, I now know why merchandise for the movie Stealth was in the bargain bin at the Navy Exchange Pearl Harbor a week after the movie premiered.
WHAT A TURD....I mean that flick (film is too grand a term) suffered from just about every flaw imaginable, including the dreaded (and head-scratching) day-to-night continuity error "pioneered" by all-time-stinker Plan 9 from Outer Space. My wife summed it up best: the movie only provided a singular moment of enjoyment - for the guys - the Jessica Biel bikini segment. And I whole-heartedly agree, a few glimpses of her bod turned out to the only redeeming quality of the movie. And just to save you all the trouble, here there are:There.
No reason to waste two hours of your life pondering the baffling questions this movie raises, like: How in the fuck does a plane "go hyper-sonic"??
Does hyper-sonic have an "economy mode" because although the planes are fighters, they fly all over the globe without aerial re-fueling (there is one instance).
How does a plane fly from the Philippine Sea to Rangoon, Burma in 20 minutes? (oh yeah, hypersonic, forgot).
How do the same said aircraft, operating from a U.S. aircraft carrier in the South China Sea get all the way to fucking Tajikistan (Central Asia) without refueling????
How does a pilot trying to return from Tajikistan (to the carrier mind you), fly "south, southwest" but end up bailing out of her damaged plane over fucking NORTH KOREA???? (that one is truly mind-boggling)...somebody needs to get their ass a fucking Atlas in Hollywood.
How can is be night-time in Alaska, morning in Korea, and then night-time again in Korea all in the span of less than 5 minutes (movie time).....the fucking continuity editor must've been high...(as well the script writer, director, etc, etc)
It was awfully easy to escape North Korea as well, the DMZ just isn't what it used to be (when I was there), from the most heavily fortified and mined stretch of land in the world, to a harmless, pock-marked fun zone with the only separating our intrepid heroes from South Korea being a chain-link fence....*plus, why were all the North Korea emplacements, searchlights, etc trained inward, as if designed to keep people in, and not to watch the South.

Oh yeah, well we followed that up with Shrek 3. Which was much better. Very funny and I had a good time. Go see it if you like Shrek. Not the best of the bunch, but enjoyable.
Now, we're going to wrap up the day with Die Hard. See ya later.

Gratuitous Boob Shot and Other Things

Well, as a vaGiants troll so kindly pointed out, there is an error on the All-Bust Starting Offense.
This photo is NOT Jessica Biel, its Nikki Cox:
What this means, (besides, of course, the chagrin for trusting the label on the download and not my eyes....lousy Internet) is that I've found the captain of my DEFENSE! (oh captain, my captain). Moreover, to keep up the gratuity, I should offer up a replacement shot of the fine Ms. Biel. So here ya go:
So you see troll, Eagles fans adapt and overcome, for the benefit of ALL.

Now, speaking of the Birds. There hasn't been much going on in footballdom lately. NovaCare has been fairly silent. For instance, Spuds's latest article with GM Tom Heckert is about how the Eagles are positioned to take the best player available in the NFL draft.

This is hardly earth-shattering news. I mean, the Birds have address nearly every hole on the team in some way, shape or form. Cog players like Quintin Mikell, Juqua Thomas, Correll Buckhalter and AJ Feeley were resigned. Kevin Curtis was signed to address the departure of Donte Stallworth. The trade with the Bills brought us a needed LB in Takeo Spikes AND a #3 QB in Kelly Holcomb. Montae Reagor gives us another DT and hopefully provides some better veteran leadership (though Bunkley's development is still crucial).

So who are the Eagles going to draft? No mocks here. While an entertaining diversion now and again, mock drafts are hopelessly useless predictors of the actual outcome of the draft. I've posted the gist of the aforementioned article many times on the Philly boards. The Eagles can go multiple ways with the #26 pick. If the top LBs are gone, we can get a top tier safety or CB, its unlikely that all the best DBs will be gone, but on the off-chance that they are, then that means some other position should have a really good players left (LB, DE, RB, TE, whatever).....Next weekend is going to be fun. I wonder what time I have to get up?

Micc's "All Bust" Team (Offense)

Now for a little irreverence. The sports sites and message board are abuzz with talk of the upcoming NFL Draft. And after weeks of fawning, we've reached the stage at which the writers run out of superlatives and begin tweaking their earlier exuberance. This, I am dubbing, "Bust Week" when every major sports site: from SI, to ESPN (oops most of the articles are for "Insiders" so please pardon this outsider), to FoxSports and beyond amps up the cautionary tales, and, in addition to the endless streams of "updated" mock drafts, begins to label some guys as reaches or potential busts, etc, etc.

Well Jaws on Philly.com (no, not THAT Jaws, this one...) began a thread dubbed the "All Bust Team" that was initially populated mostly with the ultra-jugged porn starlets from the 80s (Christy Canyon, Wendy Whoppers, etc). And that got me thinking. Who would make my "All Bust Team".

The ground rules:
- no super-boobs (girls with Triple-E and all that need not apply, I don't like boobs that tip the girls over)
- all natural, to my knowledge none of the members have undergone any "performance enhancements"; if I am in error please let me know
- its my list, deal with it. These are the racks that snap your eyes away from theirs. It isn't a list of who's got the biggest, it isn't a list of the who the hottest girls are (cause if it was, there'd be some ladies on there who are more proportionate), its a list of the some of the best current "busts", its not an all-time squad (though there will be some honorable mentions)

With that out of the way onto the lineup!:

Lets start "in the trenches", with my 5-girl, Offensive Line. But don't think of these girls as hogs, or anything crude, The O-line is the foundation of the team, and these girls got busts that can stand up with the breast of them.

RT - Eva Mendes (actress/model) a feminine stalwart, I couldn't remember her name right away, but she's got a package that is hard to forget. Not a bad way to start the line.
RG - Morgan Webb (from TV's G4 Network - a gamer girl! Yowza!)
C - Mariah Carey (singer)

LG - Scarlett Johannsen (film star, bod that just doesn't quit) she also looks good as a brunette.
LT - Salma Hayek - (film star) - she can anchor any line imaginable.
Running Backs (2) - these girls are the work-horses of the team, and they also have bods that'll keep the fellas "running back" for more) The prerequisites: women in fantastic condition to anchor a twin-attack that can threaten to break a game wide open on anytime they touch the ball.

Jessica Alba (actress) - Whether she's simply "Fantastic", or "Dark", long-haired or short, blonde or brunette, this girl has got the moves to go all the way. Her secret weapon, distracting defenses with a see-thru dress.
she also gets two pics to showcase her versatility:
In keeping with my luscious twins motif: joining Jessica Alba in the backfield is another Jessica.

Jessica Biel (actress) - Holy SMOKES, fellas, this is one athletic girl! Her secret backfield weapon, a monster TONGUE that makes defensive minds wander and day-dream.
A true two-way player, Biel draws attention both covered:
and uncovered:
For more of this versatile threat. Go here.

Wide Receivers/Tight-Ends (3) No lewd comments. Those jokes are older than dirt. These knockouts have a variety of skills and played a wide variety of roles. All are solid contributor, and breakaway threats in their own rite.

Alyssa Milano (actress) - An original Halliwell sister, Alyssa doesn't need magic to make plays on the field. But that rack is bewitching nonetheless. Long hair or short (my preference for her) she is definitely a play-maker on my team.
For more of this beauty, just ask men or go here.

Catherine Bell (actress) - Most guys went "ten-hut" for JAG, when that show graced the airwaves. Now she'll definitely command the attention of the opposing teams' corners (and safeties, and linebackers, and lineman, and coaches, and refs....)
She gets a bonus pic for being in (and out of) uniform.
Monica Bellucci (actress). Talk about sultry. She melts opposing players from the sidelines. Cool off girl! A real renaissance woman, This Italian bombshell can "go long" with the best of them.
She gets two just for being Italian...woohoo...
For more, go here. or here, or even here.

Finally, no team would be complete without a Quarterback.
And the QB for my team, is going to be a true-All American: Jessica Simpson!
Actress and all American beauty. Jessica's got it going on, and this blonde bombshell can definitely lead this team to victory. I've come across some places saying she's been "enhanced" if anyone knows the truth...well...I may just break my rules for her. She can be sweet, sultry, innocent, decadent, goofy or just plain hot.
Need more Jessica? Go here.
Well that's its folks, my starting 11.
Think I erred in my judgment? Tough shit. Its my team. But feel free to nominate All-Time Hall of Famers, or girls for the Defensive side of the ball.