Authorities today revealed the capture of Khalid Sheikh Muhammad's sister. Intelligence authorities had only heard rumors of the great hairy beast, but until today had never gotten a definitive picture. Apparently they do not watch ABC, because until recently it had been masquerading on a popular women's daytime talk show espousing "9/11 was an inside job" conspiracy theories and generally denigrating America every chance she got. Its a wonder it took so long to figure this out.
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