Koalas Gone Wild

The New Zealand Herald reports that captive female koala bears in Australia routinely turn lesbo.

Scientists monitoring the marsupials with digital cameras counted three homosexual interactions for every heterosexual one. "Some females rejected the advances of males that were in their enclosures, only to become willing participants in homosexual encounters immediately after," say the researchers. "On several occasions more than one pair of females shared the same pole, and multiple females mounted each other simultaneously. At least one multiple encounter involved five female koalas.

My favorite theory: "...the females do it to attract males; [works for ME!] another (theory to explain the behavior) is that it is simply hormonal, or that it is a stress reliever.

And evidently its only the girl koalas that do it...the animal world just got weirder.

Mikell Returns to the Nest, Who's Next? and What about Donte' ?

Well the title to the story is Eagles sign 1 of 2 key players. Back-up safety and special teams captions Quintin Mikell signed a 4 year extension just a couple of days before the start of free agency. This is good news for Birds fans. While it weird to talk about having key defensive free agents after a definite down year for the Eagles defense, I whole-heartedly believe that Mikell is part of the solution.

[What the problem you ask: deadwood like Jerome McDougle and Dhani Jones sucking down roster spots and a defensive system that has to be a tad too complex if we can hardly EVER have ANY rookies able to contribute...Look other teams in the NFL get significant contributions from their draft picks, but for the Eagles it always seems to take a couple of seasons before we really know...]

But that is a different rant. This is the sentiment we all too little of from many players: "To me, more money doesn't necessarily mean more happiness. I've established myself here, I know the system, I know the coaches and they know me. I have a family here and a child on the way. It didn't make a whole lot of sense for me to make a move. I'm happy where I am, so why rock the boat?" Good on ya Quintin. Its nice to see a player realize that even at back-up money, they'll probably make more in a few years than most American will in their entire lives.

This isn't to say that I think players should throw thoughts of money to wind and accept whatever the Birds offer. That's just plain dumb. But I think for some players there is a right place, right time, right system that shouldn't be ignored.

But wait a minute...wasn't the title 1 of 2 key players? I bet you might think the other key player is WR Donte' Stallworth. Well if you do, you haven't been paying much attention. For the sportswriters/Eagles FO appear to believe that Donte's agent is going to nab him some ridiculous FA offer sheet and that the Birds will let him spread his wings. Moreover, the Eagles appear to be concentrating on ensuring DE Juqua Thomas (who's got a motor like Trent Cole, and played consistently well last year) doesn't fly the coop.

Again, looking past the oddity of thinking anyone on this defense (beside Dawkins) is "crucial," I have to say that keeping Juqua, if it happens, is a positive move. He was one of the few bright spots on an underachieving D-Line last year. Having him and Cole locked up for the next 4-5 years would provide the Birds the flexibility to continue their D-Line rotation AND perhaps shed an under-producing veteran (yeah I'm thinking about you Darren Howard) if they continue to disappoint after the 2007 season. It would also pave the way to shitcan the useless Jerome McWaste-of-time. Can we finally call it a career on that bust? Go and grab another DE in the draft (first day, second day, doesn't matter, if Juqua stays, its not a priority position for this year). Which bring to my final point about the Birds, if Juqua stays, then pending what the Eagles do about the WR position, we'll be a in a lot better position to gauge their potential draft strategies.

To Restructure or Not to Restructure - That is the Question

This is a discussion of the concept of restructuring player contracts in the NFL. Ideally, this should not have to happen, but it is a reality of the current bargaining that goes on between players and teams. Normally, when a team 'has' to restructure a deal, like the 4skins, its usually the result of poor cap management.

Here is how restructuring works:
The team takes some sort of non-signing bonus salary (base salary and roster bonuses being the most common) and CONVERTS a portion ( of it into a signing bonus. This essentially provides the player with the same amount of cash, but allows the team to pro-rate the converted amount over the rest of the players contract (up to a maximum of 5 years I believe).

This happens around the league - most notably this year with the Colts and Peyton Manning who was due a $10 million dollar roster bonus but "restructured the deal." As a result, that 10 million was turned into a signing bonus. Peyton got his money, but the Colts can spread out the hit over the next 5 years of his contract (2 million per year). He didn't "save" them any money, he simply allowed Indianapolis to "create" 8 million in salary cap space for the 2007 season, because the remaining 8 million will get accounted for in 2 million dollar chunks from 2008-2011. Roster bonuses are designed to do just that. They create potential flexibility by giving teams a choice. Pay now or pay later.

Consider the Eagles. They chose to write in nearly $21 million in roster bonuses when they extended the contracts on a wave of key young players, including OGs Shawn Andrews (2 mill) and Todd Herremans (1.8 mill), DT Mike Patterson (4.5 mill), DE Trent Cole (6 mill) and WR Reggie Brown (5 mill).

The Eagles structured many of the extensions last year in a way that deliberately chewed up a lot (but not all) of their 2007 cap space... The reason? Think about it, fewer and fewer quality players are hitting the open market, which leads teams to splurge on so-so guys (Brandon Lloyd anyone)...the way to build a consistent contender is via the draft, retaining your own guys, and making judicious decision in free agency....and yes you really DO have to make the right decision on which player you extend and all that...but that is the route the Eagles have taken consistently during AR tenure.

Lots of folks have wondered aloud "Why McNabb and Kearse won't//aren't asked to restructure "for the good of the team" or so that we can keep more of our own players...

Using Donovan as an example: McNabb is due $5.5 million in base salary and this years pro-rated Signing bonus amount is $3.3 mill...nothing can be done about the SB, its there...., but lets make this easy on the math and just say the Birds reduced his base salary to 1.5 mill and converted $4 mill into a signing bonus - which would spread out over next 4 years (assuming he's signed thru 2010, if he's signed longer, then we could do 5 years - 800,000 per. )
So his base salary would be 1.5 mil and he'd get 4.3 mill SB. His total Cap Hit for 2007 would be $5.8 million instead of $8.8 - so we'd save 3 million but at a future cost, because in 2008 his base salary will go up again and he'll have even more of SB due...

Jevon Kearse has a base salary of 5.2 million...so in theory the Eagles probably would be able to save a similar amount...HOWEVER, Kearse, like McNabb also has 6 mill in signing bonus left on his contract. By adding to it, it would him that much harder to cut in the future....

Restructuring contract is a child of the salary cap, and the reason you cannot remember very many Eagles players restructuring contracts is because they DON'T HAVE TO, thanks to Joe Banner...Sometimes the Front Office's decisions work out (Letting Simon go, letting Douglas go, signing Runyan, re-signing Trotter (after letting him go)) and sometimes they don't work out so well - Letting Burgess go and counting of Jerome McWaste-of-Time and then Howard...

but overall the Eagles are on the plus side the ledger when it comes to personnel decisions...
Thus endeth the rant

Idol Hottie in Hot Water?

Well, if I have a reason to keep watching American Idol it probably will be this: the pictures surfacing about Idol contestant Antonella Barba...
I won't post the racier photos here, but whew...what a naughty girl ;)
Will she get kicked off the show? I don't know, but I can predict that she won't make the finals cause there are better singers in the competition. But she makes for impressive eye candy as the show goes on

Goodbye Garcia

Well, just in case you haven't heard, the Eagles signed #3 back-up QB A.J. Feeley to a 3-year extension today. And if you're like me you realize that it signals the end of #2 QB Jeff Garcia's tenure with the team.

First off - Thank you Jeff. You remain a true professional, and your fire, passion and leadership helped turn a dismal season into one to be remembered. You are a true class act (as evidence by the report in this story by Bob Brookover that he text'd a congratulation to A.J. when he heard the news).

Secondly - I am a bit surprised that the Eagles did not wait until they saw what the market had to offer before making this move. I do believe this, however, by not waiting they maintained leverage over the Feeley "camp". Consider this...the Eagles wait, Garcia sees the market, get a nice offer and walks, the Birds have just A.J. in his last year, and without the potential of Garcia around, his asking price just went up (not way up, but up).

Third - Its NOT a bad move. A.J. is 29, a full 8 years younger than Garcia, and while he does not have the same resume, there is no doubt that A.J. is at home in Philly. There is something about our system that brings out the best in him. Just a Garcia was in the proverbial "right place, right time" last year, I think A.J. is in a similar RPRT situation.

Fourth - concerning the "right place" aspect, A.J. has this to say: "I love Philadelphia. I love the city. I love the organization. It's where I want to be. It was a no-brainer for me in that regard. There's something to be said for being with a team you love everything about it." 'nuff said.

Fifth - I would be shocked if Brad Childress didn't give serious consideration to bringing in Garcia to help bring along Tavaris Jackson. I don't believe the Tampa rumors (why would Garcia want to languish away his last couple of season on a crap-ass team like that?). Denver is a perennial contender it seems...if they're truly interested. I can see Jeff going there.

Around the World in Snippets

Will try something new here today. On days where there is no real Eagles news, I've trot around the globe and give y'all the quick hits on things that amuse me (and hopefully you as well)

- If Congress wants to cut funding for the War in Iraq to force the troops home. Fine, DO IT, be stand-up people and vote that way. But don't try and fiddle fart around with conditions that will just hamstring U.S. forces in the field. Cause that's just what we need. Terrorists, insurgents, Iranian agents, al-Qa'ida et al knowing the U.S. forces are forbidden from combat operations. Its not about "emboldening the terrorists" - I don't buy that argument against it, the terrorists are bold enough. Want to know why I disagree with the Democrats on this one? Its essentially fucking with soldiers and their families' lives (hold off on the doesn't-the-war-do-the-same-thing argument for now). I feel that way because it seems like a strategy that is DESTINED to increase U.S. casualties, which would suit some liberals cause it would help speed the call for a total pullout.

- The President of Sudan accuses the US of "exaggerating the troubles in Darfur" (where the Muslims are carrying out a pogrom against the 'infidels') so Washington can control the country's energy. Of course the only people who can listen to this tripe and not laugh are the Nation of Islam (member of whom were, to no one's surprise - the intended audience for his lies). Um, Khartoum you might want to recheck you vassalage with Beijing before you go worrying about Western control of you resources...you've already abdicated much of it to your Eastern lords.

- Iran's foreign minister has declared that the U.S. is in "no position to attack" it over it nuclear program. No Shit. Really. This is why I'm disappointing about the bungling decision to go to war in Iraq...the real terrorists, the real WMD threat was in Iran all along. And of course Tehran wants to negotiate. They just watched North Korea draw out talks for YEARS, giving them enough to conduct a nuclear test and declare they've joined the nuclear club.

- Lets just get this straight. First Lt. Ehren Watada is a putz, not a hero. He a goddamn officer in the U.S. Army and just because he's afraid of getting hurt doesn't mean he should abandon his men and refuse to go to war. He deserves his court-martial. Just because he's some hippie anti-war darling because he refuses to do his duty doesn't change the fact.

- Thanks to the current administration, Mexican truckers are now allowed to haul freight anywhere in the U.S. Anyone else seem impending chaos? I can't wait for the first time a Mexican trucker demolishes some family on the highways in Missouri because he's so goddamn tired and was driving for days-on-end to meet some ridiculous deadline. Oh yeah, COUNT ME OUT as far as faith that our gov't will have the ability to regulate/inspect this industry properly. As a matter of fact, Transportation Secretary Mary Peters should be publicly flogged for lying like this when she said, "This program will make trade with Mexico easier and keep our roads safe at the same time." HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Show of hands: who believes that shit?

Another Day "In the News"

Well there's damn little Eagles football to talk about right now.

So let's take a quick pass 'round the NFL shall we:
The only Eagles-related news was about ex-Eagles great, Troy Vincent. He just got released by the Redskins to save some cap-space. My question: Does he still get to be the President of the NFLPA if he doesn't have a job? NO, I don't think he returns to the Eagles, no matter how great a locker-room presence he may be.

Jack del Rio names Byron Leftwich his starter for 2007...What? Isn't that sort of like mending the fence after the stampede? Didn't Jack basically toss away a playoff run last year by dissing Leftwich (injury or not) and tossing in with Garrard (who was subsequently tossed away for yet another clone: Quinn Gray)? I wonder how THAT relationship is going to be next year.

Then NFL Combine starts today....wonder who the next workout warrior will be...and hopefully team officials will ignore the retards who administer the Wonderlic test.
Do you really care? Are you that hard up? Then go here for the "Best of Day 1" or the "Combine Blog"

AND in the real world....

Why am I not surprised that it would be some legislator from near San Francisco that wanted to outlaw spanking your child....well good news...common sense won the day and she has greatly toned down the bill she would like passed....still, I have ask, it is wise to try and legislate what goes on inside the home like that...shit..anybody seen Nanny 911??? Kids today needs their ASSES KICKED.

In the News

I only get 1 news channel here in Japan, and right now its focused on Anna Nicole Smith. So instead of letting my bile rise, I am off to GoogleNews

Here are some interesting snippets:

The Clinton-Obama love-fest is over before it began. I guess all the Hollywood-types are creaming their pants that they an anti-war "minority" candidate to support. Hee hee...You know though, I like Obama, I think he's got charisma and charm (hmm, wonder who that reminds me of) but not a lot of experience. I really like the we-gotta-change-the-politics in this country message, but I will be dismayed if that just rhetoric, and if his camp gets into a year-long dogfight with Hillary, then I think that will alienate a lot of folks. Can we keep this clean?

Anybody else chilled by the idea of American muslims getting radicalized right here at home? This story from Chicago may become more common. They're not guilty yet, just accused. But the simply fact remains...the openness of our society can be turned against us, so we must always remain on guard...there is no going to back to pre-9/11 folks...there just isn't. And that sucks.

Something tells me the execs at Nintendo are ecstatic that the Wii is the top-selling console game system in the U.S. I love my PS2, but I loved my Playstation even more, and I honestly don't use gaming consoles much anymore...not when I have a computer...

Missile defense in Eastern Europe? Are we thinking this through? I don't think there's much upside to that. It will prove to be a catalyst to greater Sino-Russian cooperation and that is NOT something we need. Hell, the frickin' Chinese has already nullified missile defense by coming up with the asymmetric anti-satellite strategy. Yeah, lets get the Russians AND the Chinese teaming up to find ways around missile defense....that's fucking smart....

The Truth Comes Out

Finally an article that comes out and states the obvious...the Eagles have ways to create cap-space for 2007 should they feel the need. The reason: 4 of the 6 long-term extension they came to last year (DT Mike Patterson, DE Trent Cole, OT Todd Herremans and WR Reggie Brown) have written in some fairly hefty roster bonuses due this year.

The bad from that: it sucked away nearly $18 million in cap space (that is the total value of the Roster Bonuses)....The Birds probably would be able to create somewhere around 14 million in 2007 cap space IF they turned all four into signing bonuses and were then - under the rules - able to pro-rate the rest into the future.

The GOOD about it: If they manage to sign some guys without converting that money, they will have good young core players locked up and signed long-term without any of them becoming "cap killers" in the future that demand restructuring or new contracts etc. Yes it restricts us this year, but it'll create future flexibility....

WILL they restructure or convert some money....something tells me that they won't let a million or so prevent them from keeping a couple of key guys....but likewise, I think the Eagles will NOT create the space simply to match some gonzo-offer for Stallworth or other free agent.

San Diego Flubbers

The San Diego Chargers are now the San Diego Flubbers after recording the equivalent of the triple-play (for the team at bat - that is) in what can only be dubbed Adventures in Mismanagement.

Consider this trifecta:
1. After a marvelous 14-2 season but a disappointing, mistake-filled home playoff loss to the Patriots, the Flubbers "commitment" to Head Coach Marty Schottenheimer consists of a paltry 1-year extension thru 2008 (basically its a severance package offer, because in reality MS would still have been a lame duck in 2007). Like a man, Marty declines the masked slap and commits only to working out the remaining year of the contract.

Sensing the ship listing, and with multiple head coaching slots popping up around the league, Flubbers coaches begin to flee and wind up securing promotions around the league (after all the Flubbers were an NFL-best team when they were the Chargers). 5 in all, but most importantly, both coordinators (Cam Cameron to Miami and Wade Phillips to Dallas).

2. A few weeks later the Flubbers front office reverses course, shit-canning Marty and describing the situation between the coach and GM: "dysfunctional." Never mind that the NFL coaching carousel had been spinning for weeks, with many of the top candidates either a) never getting on, or b) jumping off to land jobs.

The real flub-up here....the Owner cites the defection of the coaches as the reason behind his decision to fire Marty...hey, asshole...YOU ARE THE ONE that controls that. Don't want them to leave? Are they under contract? Then don't give them permission to, or offer them the money required to stay.

3. So instead of doing it the right way, and perhaps having a chance at stability by being able to promote from within (say keeping the offense on-kilter with Cameron, or D with Phillips), the Flubbers delay costs them. This get compounded by today's decision to go with triple-time re-tread Norv Turner. Don't get me wrong, a rhesus monkey probably could "coach" the Flubbers to a 10-win season (not that hard to come up with a get LT 25 touches/game strategy); but seriously...does anyone think Turner is that final piece to motivate the team over the top (and I use motivate, because at this point, the Flubbers have the talent, what they need is a Gruden-like motivator to push them).

When the Moods Strikes

Ok, so they found the climbers on Mt Hood. Big fat hairy deal. I want to know what happened to the DOG! Heck, those fellas made a choice to put themselves in peril (and at least they the good sense to bring along survival equipment) but the I doubt the Labrador Retriever woke up and thought "hmmm, good day to climb a mountain."

And who gives a flying fart if Britney Spears shaved her head? Its HAIR people...its grows back!

The funniest article of the day so far is the Hispanic pastor who thinks he is the living embodiment of Jesus Christ...but has 666 tattoo'd on his arm...hee hee..um, dude...

On the home front, I guess the Congress angered some Japanese politicians today by passing a non-binding resolution call on Tokyo to formally resolve the female sex-slave during World War II issue. Here's to guessing the Japanese don't want to be reminded that they "employed" more than 200,000 "comfort women" almost 70 years ago....My thought: this will blow over soon. Heck, I doubt the people IN WASHINGTON realize the impact of their vote. To them its just another throw-away non-binding resolution that law-makers can pass to soothe the collective conscious.

Bye Bye Franken, don't forget to disappear

Well, the best thing about Al Franken dropping his radio show to go run for Congress (or Senate, or whatever) is that I no longer have to listen to that claptrap when my alarm goes off at 0400 in the mornings. You see out here in Japan, the local radio is live for 12 hours (06-1800) and them switches to satellite feed. In the interest of equal-time, they broadcast one hour each of a right-wing nut and a left-wing loon. Up until last week that meant 4-5 Al Franken, and 5-6 Rush the gasbag. It was a real pain in the ass, cause I hate having my news/commentary filtered through such extreme lenses.

The lefty show got a little less loony with Franken's disappearance because they've replaced the equal time guy with Fox's Alan Colmes (who probably should be a radio personality). Of course the show starts with a bunch of call-ins, so by the time I'm awake he hasn't really talked about anything and I still don't have much of a clue as to what subject he might talk about. Oh well...

In another thought, what will Air America do now that it has lost its poster-boy?

Eragon

The wife took me to see the adaptation of the book Eragon this afternoon, and I was unfortunately, not surprised that the movie pretty much sucked. Very disappointing. Nothing will make me start to pick apart a movie faster than continuity errors or very slopping story-telling that creates seeming continuity errors and Eragon is chock-full of them. Perhaps most glaringly, there is a sequence in which its night time and Eragon sneaks into the house of Bron (who isn't his mentor yet). After he leaves he witnesses the butcher getting interrogates by the Eragonian equivalent of a Ringwraith, who divulges the location of E's farmhouse home as the far end of the valley (remember its nighttime). SO he goes racing home (night) and then gets picked up by the dragon and FLOWN to his farm (which is in ruins and burning) and by the time they get there is DAYTIME....Now I've heard of in-flight delays, but something tells me a fucking DRAGON wouldn't take all night to fucking FLY to the end of the valley. Ugh...that just begets further sloppiness - like when Little E does fly the dragon around (to get the hang of it) and Bron (now his mentor) follows them on horseback AS THEY SHOW E and the dragon flying over all sorts of different terrain (so either that horse has a jetpack rammed up its butt OR the continuity editor needs his ass kicked). Of course, throughout the scene they show Bron riding solo (in big wide-view lens so there is not mistake, he's galloping alone, apparently leaving behind E's horse and their supplies) but right at the end, bam, there is E's horse, with Bron holding the reins as they gallop along...Um, excuse me....where the hell did that horse come from?

Secondly, I believe its a very wise idea to avoid any swords-n-sorcery movie that employs Jeremy Irons, who "graced" the tortured Dungeons and Dragons movie as the pitiful bad guy. In Eragon, his character seems little more than a pale imitation of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings....

To be fair, my wife tells me the movie butchers the books quite badly, and in her words the books was "nowhere near as infantile." And honestly, since I haven't read the book, the thought that this movie was so bad it looked like an half-ass adaptation of a fantasy novel knockoff that a 15 year-old might write. So at least there's hope that the book is a half-way decent, half-way adult read. Cause the movie will only to appeal to the very young.

Movies, Lost and Other Things

Been a few days since I last looked in (doesn't seem too many folks have dropped) and to be honest there isn't all that much to chat about. I mean the Eagles position has not changed one iota. Andy Reid is off dealing with his sons, free agency hasn't started and there is very little to comment on.

So what the hell am I doing here? A few quick reactions to the few commentary-worthy thing that have happened.

- The Flyers traded Peter Forsberg...wow there's a shocker (insert sarcasm). first off, Forsberg is a great player, WHEN HE PLAYS. Unfortunately that just hasn't been often enough for the Flying P's. And seeing as he's going to be a free agent in a few months, why not at least get something for him and let the Predators rent him for a few months. You know, instead of older talent, perhaps the Flyers need to find some small, speedy, young talent to compete in this new NHL. Just a thought.

- Just finished Lost Season 2 - AUGH! Season 3 is about ready to start out here in Japan, but I swear. Not enough people "get it" in that movie....I mean just once, would they all put things out in the open? Haven't they learned by now the dangers of hidden agendas and lies? Still, it kept me entertained and I have a fairly high standard when it comes to TV entertainment (aside from cartoons that is). Here's hoping some more of the "others" start eating bullets in Season 3.

- Apocalypto was pretty good. Its not some daunting epic like Braveheart with huge set-piece battles. Its about a relatively simple Mayan hunter and his family who get swept up in a death throes of a huge decaying Mayan city a few days travel away (but of course it might as well be light years away from someone who never leaves their little patch of jungle/forest).
The movie, however, suffers a bit from a meandering start and is a bit oddly paced. Its got this epic feel/setting but not this epic story. The story-of-one-man-against-the-greater-backdrop works but viewers labor a bit to piece it together. I dug it, but a lot of folks probably left shrugging their shoulders.

- On the other hand Rocky Balboa, uh, rocked. It was a proper send-off to the beloved Philly icon, trading on viewers' sentimentality at seeing Stallone "yo" his way through a nice array of Philly locales without abusing it with some fanciful Rocky gets the belts one last time scenario. No, all Rocky wants is one last chance to get inside the ring and fight off some inner demons the only way he knows how - by slugging it out. The Then-vs-Now computer-projection vehicle that is a major plot device in setting up the only bout of the movie works because of a few reasons. A) the questions are bandied about with each new generation. Which team would win it all; etc, and B) the involvement of ESPN and HBO will lend a very credible air of realism to the story. I mean, we'll all heard Larry Merchant and Brian Kenny and the other on-air personalities, and seeing them in the movie helps it out.

Simply put this is a much better send-off than the putrid Rocky V. Its weird because Stallone is really great in this role; he really does ACT....perhaps he should have written more movies for himself because all that Cobra, Over the Top and Assassins shit was just a waste.

Muddling Through

Dang folks, there isn't much going on to feed my football addiction...weird, sort of hanging on to little things - like free agents re-signing with their clubs before FA opens next month.

I was stunned by Tim Hardaway's little anti-gay rant on the radio. Heck, every LITTLE thing get blasted around the news cycle, so what can you expect when you drop bombs like that...Its one thing to find homosexuality disagreeable and say I don't approve of that lifestyle and that's my choice. Its quite another to say you hate someone because of it. I'm not a defender of the rainbow lifestyle by any means, but I don't hold it against someone. People are people. My .02

I am back to working on my smaller monitor. Yeah, that's right no more big 26-inch widescreen. I dunno. This one handles the signal from this older computer better, and I can actually READ what I type, which helps quite a bit.

Lots of good movies out at the base theater this weekend: Apocalypto is tonight (plan to check it out after we go to a wedding reception), Eragon and Rocky Balboa are tomorrow, and Night at the Museum is Sunday. Going to have to catch up on my Hollywood fare.

I just an old collection of Command and Conquer. I was very much forward to C&C 3 later next month, but without the monster PC to chew it up and spit it out, I fear the little 64 MB video card in my old computer would get the proverbial sand kicked in its microprocessor by the big lug.

Oh well, Will let you know how the movies go. Later

NOOOOOOOOOO

Valentine's Day was a real kick in the balls. My wife gives me my gift: Half Life 2: Episode 1 about 0445 (before leaving for work by around 0520) and what do I discover when I bounce into ye olde home office and tv on my widescreen monitor? A no signal sign....but what a minute, the computer is on.....odd...reboot and I get what would be my nemesis for the rest of the morning. The Beep of death. You see, I learned today that all computer board makers gives their motherboard beep codes.

Beeping codes are designed to let technicians diagnose what the fuck your computer is trying to say (I guess we haven't progressed to the point where the computer could actually fucking tell you, but that's neither here nor there).

Long story short: the motherboard is frazzled, and my previous gem of an Alienware computer is now boxed and on the slow-boat back the States, where, under warranty it will, god-willing, be restored to its former useful greatness at my parents domicile in Delaware (yeah I paid for the on-site service, but that doesn't extend to Japan, damn Navy).

What does that mean for your intrepid ranter? It means using my older, twitchier back-up PC for the next oh, two months (at least - groan) and NO Command and Conquer 3 when it hit store shelves at the end of March - DAMMIT! Heck very little gaming at all, the old machine just doesn't have the hops to deal with the latest games. I've got a few oldies lying around, I may have to make due with some old-school stuff...or...I could study my Chinese more often...acquire some more Japanese....maybe actually get Dispatch 4 written....in other words, be more productive...oh frig it....where's Flixster....

More Head Coaching Moves!

Ok folks,
two big stories today.
First the one that no doubt concerns y'all the most. Andy Reid has announced he's going to step aside for a month to deal with the family crisis that has beset his children (basically, both of his sons, 23 and 21, are in so pretty deep doo-doo with the law.

Anyway, he is go to take a break from his daily duties (i.e. he's going to stay home, but I imagine he'll talk with the rest of staff at least every other day) until mid-March and see if can get things settled on the home front. But cheer not ye Cowboys, Giants and 4Skins trolls, Andy will be back and ready for the 2007 season.

Look this is not a good thing...you're not going to find that spin here. But in the year-long merry-go-round that is the NFL "season" this is about as good a time as any and its the right thing to do. Perhaps the only better time would have been say the day after the NFL draft, because you could hold off the first mini-camp until late May (maybe, first mini-camp workout to bring in the draft picks usually starts pretty soon after the draft)...but even then you have the coach not involved in that planning instead.

ESPN's Len Pasquarelli got it right in this article: "between Monday and the time he returns in mid-March, the Eagles will have to deal with matters such as the scouting combine later this month and the start of free agency in about three weeks. Reid's encompassing role notwithstanding, the franchise will survive."

The Second was the Chargers firing of Head Coach Marty Schottenheimer today. I shook my head at this one and I am by no means a Schottenheimer fan, but c'mon, you couldn't have figured this out last month?

Owner Alex Spanos' cop out: "When I decided to move ahead with Marty Schottenheimer in mid-January, I did so with the expectation that the core of his fine coaching staff would remain intact." What a load of shit. So your team posts the best record in the league and the NFL wire is abuzz with how both your coordinators are coaching candidates through-out the league (especially Cam Cameron - who went to Miami)....SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET THEM WALK??? I'm sure it wasn't Marty's decision to let them go. It was YOURS....

Now the Chargers are royally screwed. They have NO coaching staff whatsoever, and it just two weeks before Free Agency. Whoever comes IN to coach has lost the chance to go to the Senior Bowl and do preliminary scouting and if they aren't in place quickly, they'll miss the Combine. I expect the Chargers will muddle through a crucial off-season instead of capitalizing and will probably wind up stumbling next year with a completely brand new staff and waste yet another year of LT's prime.

How Can Someone Lose $8.8 Billion Dollars?

How the hell can former Iraq governor Paul Bremer sit in front of a Congressional Committee and with a straight face blame poor accounting for his inability to account for over 2/3s of the cash-money shipped over to Iraq to help rebuild the country...

The 15-month proconsulship of the Coalition Provisional Authority disbursed nearly $20 billion, two-thirds of it in cash, most of which came from the Development Fund for Iraq that had replaced the UN Oil for Food Program and from frozen and seized Iraqi assets. Most of the money was flown into Iraq on C-130s in huge plastic shrink-wrapped pallets holding 40 “cashpaks,” each cashpak having $1.6 million in $100 bills. Twelve billion dollars moved that way between May 2003 and June 2004, drawn from accounts administered by the New York Federal Reserve Bank. The $100 bills weighed an estimated 363 tons.

AND WE HAVE NO CLUE WHERE ALL THE MONEY WENT!!
and those are the OLD links...

I really only caught the regurgitation of this story because Bremer was once again called before the House last week and the testimony got grilled by the Daily Show.

But have no fear my fellow Americans, Congressman Henry Waxman promises a two-year inquiry into how the money is being squandered....just remember to wake us all up.

You know, I would like to know something: how is it that the government can shrug its shoulders and not account for the expenditure of BILLIONS (not all U.S. tax-payer money, mind you, but nonetheless billions of dollars) in Iraq, but if I want to take a $10/week tax deduction for money given at church I am not required to have a receipt????? Some motherfucker explain that one to me. Please.

ProBowl Ruminations

As I spend my Sunday morning getting my final taste of football for the season (and a little taste of home), these quick thoughts struck me:

- Laughed out loud when after RB Larry Johnson was obliterated in the backfield Dan Dierdorf asked "was he tackled? or absorbed?"

- 1st quarter and Dan Dierdorf talks about how the guys in the trenches play all out...snap...and all 9 lineman stand straight up and mosey around while the NFC runs a pass play....hee hee

- Bulger drops the ball w/o being touched?? C'mon dude...don't give it away....

- Hitting does exist in the ProBowl (I still remember some of Dawkins big hits from a few years ago)

- Want to take bets on the most replayed highlight from today's game...little doubt in my mind; AFC Punter Brian Moorman just got annihilated by Washington's Sean Taylor on a fake punt...
BTW - CBS carried the call in Japanese as well...after you hear the NHK announcers go "OOOO" you know big hits translate to any language...

- Ok all you Romosexuals...Dallas QB Tony Romo has been just this side of pathetic...and what the fuck did he do to deserve playing the entire second half? Real coaching genius that Sean Payton...Romo couldn't even engineer a scoring drive after Chicago's great return man Devin Hester set up the NFC inside the 25! They the NFC gets the ball at the 11 on a fumble and the only reason they score is because of Steven Jackson's never-say-die attitude....and FINALLY, a decent pass by TR and Boldin scores on a nifty shift and scoot down the sideline...Cool...

- Game ends, AFC wins 31-28...what a cheesy way to end the game on a gimme FG after a Pass Interference penalty on the NFC...dang...had a chance for real drama...

More Than Meets the Eye?

God, after watching the Clerks II DVD (which is hilarious by the way) I feel like the geeky virgin Elias after seeing the preview for this summer's 4 July "event movie": Transformers

A live action transformers, really? Check it out below



My only disappointment: they got Michael Bay doing the movie...so expect all sorts of great F/X, the Transformers will look awesome, but the story/plot thing...I expect it to disappoint.

Nintendo DS a Tool for Child Predators? - Not Likely...

Ah the power of Google, I ran across this little article laughing a local news station purporting to expose the HIDDEN DANGER of the Nintendo DS to our children. It seems a local Fox News affiliate in Milwaukee, WI is showing parents the molester's backdoor of the Nintendo DS aka - "Pictochat." The report claims that people can communicate, via Pictochat, with another DS over "long distances." It goes on to warn that due to the lack of advertising for this feature, parents should be worried about molesters contacting their children over the DS.

OK before you start laughing (that commences soon, don't worry) the reporters "proves" this dastardly act is possible by using the Pictochat feature with two children. They're upstairs in their room, he sits downstairs (no word on if he typed them any naughty messages). Nintendo's documented range for wireless communication is 65 feet (even to talk to the neighbor for a lot of people), but at the mall, the reporter is (gasp!) able to successfully send a 5 times as far! (300 feet).

So lock up your kids' DSes folks! Some roving child molester with a handheld game machine might just catch you child doodling on Pictochat! while, uh...living next door....

Look people...that just ludicrous...I own a DS, I've never once even thought of using the Pictochat function...kids don't use it EITHER...they play GAMES! and they play games with their friends on the dang thing...its not a cell-phone were you can easily text message, they can't Pictochat with Jimmy down the street after he goes home...why bother? Call Jimmy...chat with Jimmy online, blah blah blah....

You want to know how a molester would use a DS...not to Chat...idiots...the sick fucks would probably try and use a DS to lure a kid into trusting them....

What about the Draft? - Is it Fair to Judge 2006 as a Waste?

Simply put, judging a NFL draft after one year can be fun, but it is generally short-sighted...

Unfortunately other teams in the league seem to be better than the Eagles at getting an immediate impact from their rookie draft classes, while the Birds players (even the higher round picks) don't seem to make a huge splash. One reason that hits me is our defense - where an immediate impact would be nice, and in fact was necessary this year to solidify our D-Line. It just didn't happen, and the D suffered for it. The thing is, Jim Johnson's D take a while to assimilate...Its a bit of detriment, as other teams seems to be able to bring in players and get an immediate bang; like the Charges (Merriman), Pats (Seymour, Wilfork), Seahawks (Tatupu), and Bears (Anderson, Urlacher, Vasher, et al) while Eagles players usually seem to require patience in an impatient business....

Giving it a moment of deeper though and you realize that players' careers are impacted by all sorts of things, injuries (Jerome the "Bust" McDougle anyone), freak accidents (JR Reed and infamous fence hopping), outside events (like shootings, again McBust sticks in my memory, bit also in the most extreme of cases things like the unfortunate death of Darrent Williams...think the Broncos thought they'd have to address the secondary this off-season, heck no...but they do now, or heck what about Jerome Brown?). Coaching changes can be a huge detour as well (have to outside the Birds for an example of that).

All that being said, you judging a draft usually take a couple of seasons...and they get re-evaluated each year....For the Eagles, 2002 was great...2003 looks pretty much like a wash unless LJ sticks around, 2004 is rounding out on the positive side of the ledger with Andrews, while 2005 - I would rate at still having great potential (even though the Eagles thought well enough to extend a # of those players already) and 2006 - I consider disappointing in the selfish aspect of wanting immediate gratification, but one I still think has the potential to be turn out very well.

Never Let 'em See Ya Sweat, but Fellas....

looks like ya DO want to let them SMELL your sweat....at least according to this report from University of California at Berkeley researchers, who concluded that women who sniffed a chemical found in male sweat experienced elevated levels of an important hormone, along with higher sexual arousal, faster heart rate and other effects.

Go here for the rest of the story....but I wonder what this means for deodorant ads?

Back to FOOTBALL

Well, I haven't talked about the Eagles for a couple days, but I don't want this to become another useless political watch blog. I'm listening to Sheppard Smith in the other room, and all the news is Pelosi's plane request (already got a solution for that one - assigned a corporate cross-country capable Gulfstream Jet to the OFFICE of the Speaker, not the person)....or the Scooter Libby trial (guess Tim Russert just sunk his battleship today)...and blah blah blah...

But the biggest news overnight? The Cowboys finally have a new head coach, and the newest entrant in the can-I-outcoach-Andy-Reid-and-get-past-Philly sweepstakes is (drumroll please)

Wade Phillips!

Gene W. had this to say on ESPN: Jones will defend his choice by saying Phillips has NFL head coaching experience, that Phillips is one of the premier defensive minds in the game, and that his philosophy is better suited to Cowboys personnel. ...That's fine. Jones can rationalize all he wants, but in the end there isn't anything about the decision that is defining. Instead, it's an uninspired choice disguised as prudent. America yawns. And America's Team becomes even more inconsequential. Remember, Jones and the Cowboys haven't won a playoff game in 10 years.

Hee hee...
Actually I think he's not a bad choice, considering the fact that no matter who the titular 'head coach' is down at Valley Ranch, we all know that Jerry Jones is calling the shots. Think the Big Tuna was in charge down in Big D....MEO changed all that. JJ wanted him, JJ got him (and it couldn't have happened to a nicer idiot). Heck, JJ proved it again before ever hiring another head coach by publicly lusting after and hiring Troy Aikman's former clipboard carrier Jason Garrett (he apparently was a rising star in the coaching world - at least he was in JJ's mind) to an as yet undefined position on the staff. (my bet is offensive coordinator/asst. coach).

I mean, think about it...JJ needed someone malleable and defensive-minded. There aren't that many coaches out there right now who'd be all that comfy knowing their future replacement (at least in the owner's mind - and lets face it, he's the one that matters) is already pacing the sidelines.

I almost feel sorry for the guy. I can see the first blow-up with MEO looming already...Wade gets irked at some antic, tries to call out the star players to assert his authority...and SHWACK! "the player" says something like "get your fat ass back to the defense." Hee hee...get your popcorn a-poppin' fellas it could be an interesting summer.

William Arkin calls US Troops Mercs? Screw him.

Wow, being in Japan sure can be isolating sometimes...I completely missed the William Arkin screed against the troops on his Washington Post blog. Basically troops aren't allowed to voice their opinions, because if they do, they somehow think they're "above" the rest of society. Fuck that. Arkin is criticizing NBC for airing a segment that included enlisted soldiers worrying about waning US support for what they're doing in Iraq, but the kick in the teeth is this passage: "and the recent NBC report is just an ugly reminder of the price we pay for a mercenary - oops sorry, volunteer - force that thinks it is doing the dirty work."

I have never read a more disgusting piece of writing than that (I imagine that the NAMBLA or KKK or Neo-Nazi writings are fairly sickening as well, but I'd never actually seen any of that crap). Hey Arkin - GO FUCK YOURSELF! I ain't out here defending you, you wussy puke. If you were on FIRE, I wouldn't piss on you to put you out (why waste the piss?).

Whew, ok now that that rant is over. Go here because the commentary on this has already been done, and much better than I could have done it. Thanks Michelle Malkin, you may be a pretty hard-core conservative, but you got this one right. There is an excerpt from the blog entry, and the very detailed listing of the various folks blasting the shit out of this asshole.

The "Air Pelosi" Plane Flap

As someone who like to think of themselves as an independent, I'm not sure I buy the right-wing's "outrage" at this Nancy Pelosi wants a big plane thing.

Here are the facts, as I understand them: After 9/11 the White House agreed to the idea that the Speaker of the House (who sits behind the Vice President in the chain of Presidential succession) is deserving of the extra security afforded by having a military jet at their disposal. This jet would facilitate travel back their home district; and was afforded to former Speaker Dennis Hastert with very little controversy.

Seems fairly standard, Pelosi is the new Speaker, she gets the plane now, right?

Hold on. Not so fast. The conservative Washington Times says Pelosi is demanding more. Effectively requesting a military plane with all the trimmings be placed at her convenience with few strings attached. Are we to believe this more damning report?

As always, the truth is probably a bit different and the story gets magnified and distorts to varying degrees by the lens through which it is viewed. The avowed "we-hate-Fox News" News Hounds sites goes to lengths to defend Pelosi/shed the light of truth on the story (add your own hint of sarcasm). The Funny part is, they expose a rather lengthy list of media "offenders" including John Gibson's Big Story on Fox, the Washington Times, CNN, and ABC News, and they end up calling it a right-wing smear campaign. Hee hee....I've always found the mainstream media to have a fairly liberal bias, never really cared about it one way or the other, but have seen the polarization get really bad in recent times.

Ok so you're bored already...here is the problem as I see it. The White House made a mistake, and they assigned a plane to the person and NOT THE OFFICE. There would be NO FLAP, none whatsoever, if the government assigned a small cross-country and secure-communications capable corporate jet to the office of the Speaker. That would eliminate the I need a bigger plane thing not that puddle jumper, et al. Moreover it would standardize the security requirements afforded to the Speaker's office. And not specialize them to an individual.

I think a bigger plane is a bit of an extravagance, especially when the cross-country cost is nearly $300,000 per flight. What the hell? Whenever the government flew me anywhere is was the absolute CHEAPEST fair possible, and if that meant stopping 3 times, so be it. Can't we expect the Feds to be able to shuttle Pelosi's ass back and forth between Washington DC and San Francisco for somewhat less than the yearly salary of the President?

So What's Going On?

Hmm, you know...I've hit a bit of blogging conundrum...what to do now that the Season is over. There isn't THAT much Eagles stuff going on, so a daily blog-bite on the Eagles seems a bit over the top.

So here are few random observations from today:

What this why my Internet connection here in Japan seemed to bog down today? Hackers from South Korea put together a concentrated attack on the root servers that are the pillars of the Internet.

Here we have another typical Muslim over-reaction to anything done by the Jews....Go forbid any one else have access to the mosque, which holds a special place for multiple religions. They won't allow anyone else to use other entrances, and the non-Muslim entrance was damaged in an earthquake...but oh oh, trying to rebuild it is "act of aggression." Frickin' ridiculous. What to know more about the mosque itself? go here.

I urge everyone to go here and sign the petition demanding a pardon for ex-Border patrol agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean. Of course, now that they're in jail, they're targets for reprisal from scumbags criminals. Ramos was just attacked. Hell, he shouldn't even be in prison! I don't give a flying fart that he shot a drug smuggler. I don't give a crap if they didn't follow procedure after the shooting. They're fighting a war down there on the border, and no one wants to talk about or even acknowledge that...we might insult Mexico...F that....the border is OUT OF CONTROL, and can we really afford to do nothing? Of course not, we can hang out to dry the few people we DO have patrolling it.

Hangover?

God the only thing worse than having your team eliminated from the playoffs and then enduring two weeks of endless Superbowl hype is having to sift through all the crap about the winning team after the game.

This douche actually debates the idea that Colts might somehow qualify as an "all-time" great team. Um, no...the fact that they won despite never playing their "A" game does not make them "more dominate" than we might think. It says something about their perseverance and will, but it does not connote future dominance.

The author writes: "The Colts dispatched four formidable playoff opponents without once playing a game that was sound offensively, defensively and on special teams. In other words, they had a rather sizeable margin of error, meaning not only are they a worthy champion but a team so talented they could wade through four opponents with a combined 47-17 (.734) record without once playing their "A" game." Fundamental flaw in that paragraph: it assumes the Colts opponents all brought their "A" game and yet somehow still couldn't withstand the fury of the Colts "B" game...ummm...NO...I doubt many folks in New England or Baltimore believe their teams played up to their potential. So its wasn't some natural, heretofore unrealized dominance that the Colts put on display...it was heart, gumption and will. Plus a healthy of lady luck. Add that to a talented club, with an All-Pro's pro at QB (Peyton), a gritty O-Line, and good-to-great talent at some key positions (Harrison, Wayne, Freeney, Sanders) and you have a recipe for success.

One might also want to put down the Kool-Aid about the "all-time" greatness for the Colts because, as Don Banks notes, Indy is poised to suffer a pretty significant talent drain in the offseason if they don't find more cap space. Lets see if they keep the team together and see how they deal with the post-SB hangover before breaking out the annointing oils, shall we?

Wanna Watch Any of the SuperBowl Ads

Go here: Spotbowl.com to see any of the ads from SuperBowl XLI

Bad News Bears - Evil Rex Showed up

The Bears had their shot at SuperBowl XLI, but came up short. And you know what...you'll read all about elsewhere. I doubt anyone is coming to this page to make SURE they get the best SuperBowl coverage.

So I will just say this. The Bears possessions in the second half were ATROCIOUS...Indy extends its lead with a big drive to start the second half and the Bears respond with a total of 2 decent plays before Rexie-boy stumble-fucks his way to consecutive big-loss sacks, one because he couldn't get his own feet out of his way and the second because the he couldn't handle the fucking snap! So the Bears go from potential threat with a 2nd and 1 in Colts territory to a 4th-and-fuggedaboudit punt.

They did managed to squeak in a FG in the second half. This came after the Colts went up 22-14, and squibbed it and then took a personal foul....Bears got the short field, and came up short, settling for FG. And that was ALL SHE WROTE. Why? Well you probably know why, its because Rex Grossman's evil twin entered the game and proceeded to throw two really shit-stupid passes...Its was the play-calling that was dumb, both passes would've connected and really sparked the Bears in the second half if Grossman had had enough talent to make the friggin' throws! Both passes were thrown so poorly they didn't have a chance to be completions, but instead had great chances to interceptions - and both were.

The first was Pick 6 which put the Colts up 29-17 and prompted me to write down: your Superbowl XLI Champion: the Indianapolis Colts!

Damn Bears. I wanted the NFC to win.

Half Time Thoughts

- Bears offense and Grossman better gets off their asses and convert a friggin' third down if they want to win this game

- How many more turnovers can we expect...

- The Bears lucked out when Mr. Clutch ground his gears and whiffed that easy FG...to be a fumble in the last two minutes and then fumble the ensuing snap??? Pitiful.

- While that botched extra point play a role in the outcome or will one team pull away in the second half...I know if it was the Birds, that missed EP would play a critical role.

- The weather gets stupid and sloppy and it favors the pass-happy Colts??!! Bears better wake the hell up (oops, already said that).

- Bears were on the field a lot in the second quarter...does this ultra-long half-time actually work against the Colts, because the Bears D is going to get extra rest they wouldn't normally get.

Thoughts as Game Time Approaches

Damn - the pre-game is long

Who cares about whether or not Tank Johnson got to travel to play. Look the only reason the Bears weren't more stern with their disciplining of the trouble DT was that their All-Pro DT Tommie Harris was on IR...with no hope of getting Harris back the Bears simply couldn't voluntarily shelve another DT. It would've been defensive suicide. So they swallowed their bile and did what they had to do to keep winning, they kept Tank on the roster...Will he be there next year...maybe not...

No Blimps at the SuperBowl? Something wrong with that....

Gloria Estafan and Cirque de Soleil??? What the hell...that isn't football....

To Franchise or Not To Franchise - That is the Question

A lot of folks have asked on various Eagles message boards whether or not the Eagles could put the franchise tag on unrestricted free agent WR Donte' Stallworth. The short answer to that question is YES. They could. League rules allow a team to designate any player as a franchise or transition player.

That said, a franchise tag on Donte would cost the Eagles $7.3 million (that is the avg of the TOP 5 WR - which is what a team must pay any player designated as a "franchise" player). The problem isn't the money, its that the full total would come straight out of the 2007 cap, no spreading it out over several years (like a signing bonus) or any other neat little accounting tricks that "capologists" use to lessen a players impact on the HARD salary cap. The 7.3 mill would be all salary.

Moreover, that move would consume 7.3 mill of our projected 12.5-14 mill cap space? That is a hefty chunk, and since we also have to pay the rookies, it all but eliminate our cap flexibility to address other problems/holes on the team (read: defense). So why do that, when you can re-sign Donte and give him a decent sized signing bonus (i.e. the payday he seeks) over a longer term contract (say 5 years) and then say take a 2-3 million cap hit for the first couple of years when his base salary would probably be artificially low (somewhere in the 500-750K range).

There are also the psycho-social ramifications...for whatever reason PLAYERS (fueled by their agents as well) seem to HATE getting tagged...the most likely reason IMO: it prevents them from getting a signing bonus. Players have been tagged, with the tacit understanding that a long-term deal will be worked out - but in the Eagles case: is Donte Stallworth TRULY a TOP 5 WR? If that answer is NO (and it almost assuredly is) then why make that move?

Bottom Line: there ARE WAYS TO PAY DONTE that won't kill our 2007 cap (or any cap) and Donte WANTS TO STAY...that said, if Rosenhaus drums up some huge deal for him, he will not budge the Eagles...they are going to have an acceptable range for a deal with Stallworth, and if DR comes back way above it - they'll wish him the best and wave goodbye....

Random Thoughts

As I wait for the Superbowl to happen I've struggled to find any angle at all to write about...everything is being done, over and over and OVER....AFN carried the "final" Head Coach press conferences on NFL Total Access and my god, what a yawner...it was different dudes asking the same questions to which we've already heard the answers at some other point in the two-week-long-but-interminable hype machine about the game.

So here are some random thoughts knockin' about the noggin' on this snowy Sunday morning:

- My thought about the SuperBowl XLI - GO BEARS!!! GO NFC...

- Idiocracy is pretty good - in places. Yes its from the mind of Mike Judge, who created perhaps one of the greatest comedies in a generation: Office Space. But this is not quite on par with that. Still the idea that the progeny of the Clevon's (read: Beavis) of this world will eventually overwhelm the offspring of the much more intelligence (and therefore less procreationally active) people of the world is a hilarious premise.

- Michael Irvin made the Football Hall of Fame....based on what he did on the field, sure, I can see it...not sure why they chose him and not Andre Reed and/or Art Monk, but I don't get a vote. I can, perhaps, offer a look at what his entry bust might look like:
- Brett Favre is coming back for his 17th season. I thought for sure he'd hang 'em up. Personally, the decision does not impact me much, but I think if I was a Packers fan, I'd be a little torn. YES, Brett has earned the "I'll-retire-when-I-damn-well-please" sort of slack, but another part of me would be like, dang fella, if we'd have known you were going to hang around for THREE more years we wouldn't wasted that #1 on Aaron Rodgers to be your replacement. Heck, don't you think the Pack's woes might have been a little-less, uh, woeful, if they'd been able to pick up a #1 DT to shore up the pitiful D, or add in a #1 WR for Brett to throw the damn ball to?

- Ok, enough of football. Cannot wait for Flags of our Fathers to hit the BX.

- Kevin Bacon is finally using the stupid Six Degree shit for something useful...He's started a Six Degrees of Charity site. Its not an entirely retarded concept.

- Got that new NFL heavy winter sideline jacket (the one you've probably seen the certain non-Belichick coaches wearing)...Its Eagles, so of course its awesome. And luxuriously warm here in snowy Misawa nowadays.

- How is it that only Bostonians were retarded enough to mistake a bunch of brite-lights for terror devices?

- So China's President Hu Jintao trots on over to Sudan, and signs a bunch more oil and trade contracts...hmmm, and we wonder why nothing gets done re - Darfur?

- Can you resista Microsoft's Vista? I plan to, for as long as possible.

- Great, I got more snow to shovel and/or blow around mechanically.

NFL Salary Cap 101

What is NFL Salary Cap for 2007? $109,000,000

How is the Amount of the Cap Determined? The percentages of the league's expanded revenue pool that the players are to receive as compensation are set at 57 percent in the 2006 and 2007 seasons, 57.5 percent in 2008 and 2009 and 58 percent in 2010 and 2011. The 2012 season would be played without a salary cap. (not likely, sure negotiations will set a new deal before then)

Ok so there been a lot of talk about restructuring salaries. The friggin' Redskins do it every year, what the hell is restructuring? The most common form of restructuring is to reduce the base salary in the year of the restructure and use the difference (or some other agreed amount) as a new signing (or restructure) bonus. If a player restructures his contract and gets a new signing bonus, the new signing bonus is prorated over the remaining years of the original contract and also over the extension. The allocation of the original signing bonus remains unchanged.

What are the NFL Vet Minimum Salaries? In 2007 the minimum salary for rookie or first-year players is $285,000; second year is $360,000; third year is $435,000; fourth year is $510,000; fifth-year through seventh year is $595,000; eighth year through 10th year is $720,000; and 11th year and longer is $820,000.

How do Signing Bonuses Affect the Cap (on a per year basis)? The amount of the signing bonus is prorated evenly over the life of the contract or to the CBA limit (in 2007 that is 6 years). So if a player signs a 6 year contract that includes a $6m signing bonus, $1m of the signing bonus will be allocated against the teams salary cap each contract year for accounting purposes.

How do you calculate a Player's Cap Figure? A players' cap figure is made up of base salary, prorated signing bonus, any likely to be earned incentives, any unlikely to be earned incentives from the previous year that were in fact earned, any roster, reporting, workout or prorated option bonuses, and any prorated restructure bonuses. The only other possible charge is from the “Deion Sanders Rule”. That enough for ya....the three basic component: base salary, signing bonus, and applicable roster bonuses/incentives

Ok brainiac so WTF is the Deion Rule? Ha ha, here is the simplest definition I found: In any contract that extends into an uncapped year (2012 and beyond are uncapped at the present time), the player's combined salary, roster bonuses and reporting bonuses in all capped years (i.e. 2007-2011) must be equal to or greater than the combined prorated signing bonus allocations in the uncapped years. If the latter is greater a cap debit is applied to the players salary cap number pertaining to the difference prorated over the capped years, then credited back to the players cap number in the uncapped year(s). Don't ask me wtf that means.

What the hell is the "Rule of 51"? Well it means that not every member of the 53-man roster counts against the cap. Between the start of a league year (around March 1) and opening day only the 51 highest paid players count against the Salary Cap, even though the team could have up to 80 players on the roster at times. This lets teams have mini-camps and training camps, etc.

However - From opening day until the end of the season all players on the roster (including injured reserve) and practice squad count against the cap.

Finally, what is the significance of the June 1st Deadline?

If a player is released before June 1 all current and future prorated signing bonuses, and any other guaranteed monies that might have been part of his contract, count against the teams Salary Cap in that year.

If the player is released after June 1 then the unallocated signing bonus portion of the contract is split over two years. In the current year, that years proration counts against the Salary Cap while all future years prorated signing bonus figures count against the Salary Cap the following year.

EXCEPTION: Before the start of the league year, a team can designate two players who will be destined for June 1 releases to spread out remaining signing bonus acceleration into the next year. To do this, teams must carry those players' cap numbers until June 1, but release them before March so they can hit free agency. After June 1, the team gets to remove the salary and take the remaining cap hit in the following year.

If a player is traded, irrespective of the date, all current and future prorated signing bonuses, and any other guaranteed monies that might have been part of his contract, count against the teams Salary Cap in that year.

Want even more byzantine rules and explanations? Check out these links
The Warpath's Salary FAQ (gag, cough, a redskins fan site);
Caponomics Part II (from the Football Outsiders)