Monday, November 17, 2008

The "Gold Standard" More Like Bronze

The Eagles have achieved something I've wished very hard would not happen: after years of being an elite team, and the past several kind-of on the cusp of being good but not the record reflect it so much because of various reasons, it is now undeniable: MEDIOCRITY has nested in the Linc.

When the Eagles were first sputtering to start games, I thought, its just a passing phase (pardon the pun - I know how the Eagles complete and total abandonment of the run game is galling to most fans). You know, it happens on occasion. We've all been witness to McNabb having a slow start and then warming up...but this is near constant folks. EVERY FUCKING GAME starts the same way, with the Eagles offense looking like a bunch of guys who just getting together for their first practice at the Eddystone bar league. I mean sleepwalk is not an apt description because I've watched enough HOUSE to know that sleepwalkers occasionally DO THINGS while they're walking around as if they are awake.

The Eagles offense is like a lump.

Today was particularly egregious. I've lamented for a little while to my Dad that the Eagles don't call those easy plays early on to give McNabb a few simply completions, get his confidence up, gain a few yards and get into a rhthym. Marty Mornhinweg tried that today. IT FAILED. Miserably. Easy pass out to the flat...D'oh, Flanker hitch completion for no-yards-gained, check, then another badly missed incompletion, and BOOM went the punt, and out came the groans.

The rest of the quarter was no better. The Eagles piled up all of something like 5 FUCKING YARDS in the entire first quarter, yet after the game McNabb professed confidence. After settling for a 13-13 tie with the short-handed 1-8(and-1) Bengals, having the QB be all like "we did some good things out there", "we have some things to iron out", or "we'll go back to the film room and see where we have to improve" (try everywhere fucktard) is insulting. I think I have a pretty good idea now what that queer, something-is-not-right feeling guests aboard the Titanic must've felt when they keep hearing the announcements from the captain that everything was ok.

Everything is NOT OK. The Eagles stand at 5-4-1. Not disastrous, no. But in LAST PLACE to be sure, and unable to summon even a shred of willpower on offense to make enough plays to beat a team that was begging to get beat. You know how the Eagles offense responded, but rattlin' its own cup along the cell bars, demanding an early execution. By my recollection, the Eagles defense got the ball back for the Eagles offense 4 times after the Eagles tied the game 13-13 with about 5:00 minutes left in the 4th quarter. At least 4.

The Birds did nothing. Unless you count embarassing themselves as doing something. (I Don't)

I could go on.
Failure to convert on 3rd and short - Check (one exception being a 4-down QB sneak)
Drive/momentum killing dropped passes - gotta have me some of those in there!
300+yard passing game for the QB, but no running attack whatsoever - Woohoo - right on schedule!
The Offense not realizing the game has started and begin playing until the 2nd quarter - yup, all too common now.

Fuck the Eagles are a frustrating team to watch right now.

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