Phillies and Eagles news

Wow, here is a shocker: The Phillies dropped their season opener. And guess who "dropped the ball"? The bullpen. Now I know all you Philly fans are surprised. But I, personally am a bit disgusted. Rollins and Utley homer...Myers pitched into the 5th, before running into some trouble, but jeez....the Phils fight back and tie the game and then BOOM....the floodgates open in the 9th. Its too early to hit the panic button, but the Phillies need to avoid a slow start. Its killed them every year in recent memory. It just disheartening to see the Phillies primary trouble area (back end pitching) come up and bite them in the ass on opening day.

As for the Eagles - the NFL announced the compensatory selections for each team in the upcoming NFL draft. The Eagles scored 3 comp picks: one 4th round pick, and two 6th round picks.

The Birds have 11 picks overall. Here is the breakdown, provided by the Eagles public relations department and PhillyNews.com

1st round – 19th overall
2nd round – 49th overall
3rd round – 80th overall
4th round – 115th overall
4th round – 131st overall (compensatory)
5th round – 152nd overall
6th round – 184th overall
6th round – 191st overall (from Cleveland)
6th round – 200th overall (compensatory)
6th round – 203rd overall (compensatory)
7th round – 230th overall (from Seattle)

The Eagles traded their own 7th-round pick to Buffalo for linebacker Takeo Spikes. Oops, oh well I guess it wasn't that bad a one-year rental, considering 7th rounders rarely make the Eagles squad anyway.

China Celebrates a Dubious Achievement - from Onion News

This is hilarious
China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter


and don't miss the ticker!

Rainbow Six Vegas 2

The latest XBox 360 acquisition for yours truly is Rainbow Six Vegas 2.

Just so you all know this is my very first Tom Clancy game...Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon, whatever the hell else he's attached his name to...this is it, my first exposure to the tactical shooter world. I am more of Call of Duty 4, Halo-style FPS player.

First of my score: 9 out of 10.
You didn't come here to read a rundown of the game itself, so there's no need to rehash the story or gameplay, so I will get right down to my likes and dislikes:

Likes: Good story! Does it have the oomph of Call of Duty 4. Not quite, but it very engaging, and the levels are LONG, with a decent amount of checkpoints, so you never feel like, dammit, I gotta do ALL that all over again.

Tons o'guns - My primary wish for COD4 is a greater array of weaponry...well I get that wish with RSV2. Sure I miss my trusty M-16 with stopping power, or my Red-tiger stripe RPD, but there are plenty of new guns to play around with. I like the M468, and I'm a better sniper in RSV2 than I am in COD4. The Spas-12 is the bane of my existence on Terrorist Hunt, but I sure do enjoy being on the giving end of that shotgun.

Multi-options for CO-OP: from the 4-player Terrorist Hunt to being able to have a buddy just drop and start shooting with you during a campaign, its nice to have so many options that allow you to just play with friends if you want. This is especially key for folks stationed in overseas location like me...we often have hard times finding good multiplayer connections. RSV2 allows me to invite 3 friends for a some private killing against a pretty tough computer-AI, and still level-up our characters.

Dislikes: OK, so as you probably can already guess, as a COD4 shooter, the near insta-kills from RSV2 can be a bit annoying. YES, it is realistic in that sense....but its also a game. Few things are more frustrating than to sneak up to corner, peek around and get one-shotted by a terrorist camping the corner with a shotgun...which brings me to....

The spawning system....hmmm....this is hard to figure out. You seem to spawn right next to, and sometimes in front of, whichever teammate you are "watching" on your observation cam while you wait to respawn....this can put you in some awkward positions, as I've had teammates spawn directly in front of my field of fire, or directly behind me blocking me from backing me and getting out of harm's way during a firefight. This dovetails with the dynamic spawn system the game uses for enemies during terrorist hunt....

There are definite ups and downs to the RSV2 system. On the plus side, a game of T-Hunt has the chance to be different almost everytime. The game dynamically places enemies along your path, and most maps have a plethora of paths you can take to hunt down the enemy. OK so some maps always seem to have a guy in a specific area, but that is generally at the very start of a map, once you get to the first real choice (left, right, middle, up, down, whatever) the game begins to flow the bad guys to your general vicinity. This means that for the most part, no terrorist hunt will ever be exactly the same. Vary your route even a little and guys will come at your from different directions.

The downs about this system can be harsh: the biggest problem with the random, wait till you hit the trigger point spawning system is that quite often, a dude will pop-up in places that you've already "cleared"...for example, you enter a parking lot area, check the right corner, its clear, just some barrels, walk another 10 feet, hit spawning trigger point, bad guy appears behind barrels are starts opening up on your ass....does this happen all the time? NO. But it happens often enough to be noticeable and aggravating. The other part of the game, once a guy has spawned, he's there in that area...yes he will move around, they aren't static, but let's say a teammate moved down to the basement, and spawned two guys, killed one but died. That guy in the basement is still there. Terrorist hunt games has limited lives for the players, so your teammate is done for the match, you might be left running around a giant map trying to find the last one or two terrorists that some else triggered, but you don't a real idea of where they're at. And YES your buddy can TELL you where he thinks they are, but the maps can be very large and at least at this stage, I would wager that most players don't have them memorized yet.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

Ok, I am not Mr. Jesus, I don't go to church much, but I do consider myself fairly spiritual and I believe in Christianity - Catholicism mostly - far more than I give credibility to any other religion. That being said, I am pretty sure God has a special place in hell for retarded like the parents of Madeline Neumann, a sweet 11-year old girl who died of a treatable diabetes disorder because her parents refused to actually seek medical care and blamed themselves for her death because they didn't pray hard enough.

What the fuck? Are we in the 21st Century or not? This is not the goddamn fucking Dark Ages people.

Oh so the parents didn't think their daughter would die while they were praying...well excuse me fuckwads, but I don't think I give a rat's ass. I don't know if I would throw them in jail - because there is always the "they have to live with what they've done" argument...the problem is, when you're dealing with ultra-religious nutjobs (and I am not talking about those who pray when a loved is in the hospital, I am talking about those that only seek or believe in divine intervention) it is very difficult to get it through their thick-skulls that bullshit like this is wrong. That it is NOT the hand of God reaching down and plucking their daughters life away to spite them for a lack of faith. It is THEIR STUPIDITY for not using the brains and gifts GOD has bestowed upon us all to make our lives better and work to care for each other!

Lord save me.

In other news, the Eagles signed a new TE, Kris Wilson. After languishing behind Tony Gonzales for a few years perhaps he can find new life with the Birds. And if he can play multiple positions (FB/TE H-back sorta role) then great. The Birds' prior FB Tapeh, who signed with Minnesota, was adequate across the board at doing some of that, but the overall package he brought to the team was, in retrospect, pretty poor. Unfortunately, I think this signing probably means the Eagles have no intention of going after a guy like Owen Schmidt the WVU FB/H-Back type guy who I think would look pretty damn good in midnight green. If Wilson sticks, then there is decent chance that back-up TE Matt Schobel, a free agent acquisition from Cincinnati a couple of years ago, will be on the chopping block. I don't think the Eagles will move LJ Smith (even if they had a suitor) and Brent Celek showed real promise in a limited role last year. Heck, Celek may be the reason the Eagles simply ride out the L.J. show in 2008 and then part ways in 2009.

Think you know about Godzilla?

I'm a Godzilla MASTER
peep this:




Test yourself and find out what you know about big green guy

Are you a Zombie Killa?

I had to find out how I would fare during the inevitably zombie uprising. Whew! I think I might survive. Find out for yourself here.

What does it mean?

You might have lost a member of your party, but you come out unharmed. You held out long enough for the military to come and rescue you. Even though the government will take credit for it, you and your party did most of the work.

Are You Prepared for the Zombie Uprising?

We're talking 4-player co-op zombie killing madness. Play as the biker, the war vet, the cute teenage chick or the retail guy. I mean seriously? This game sounds too good to be true. Hook up with 3 friends and try to survive the zombie uprising? Have others folks join the game and play AS THE ZOMBIES trying to kill you???

Dudes this sounds too good to be true. I cannot wait for this game!
Here is the trailer:



Here is a link to the gameplay in action: hospital play

Jeffrey Jamaleldine - American Hero

If you read nothing else from this post, read the final bolded line. There is a reason this world is swirling down the toilet, and it is NOT because of big, bad Bush's bullying. It is because most of the rest of the world is way too willing to look the other way and not stand up for what is right. I saw fuck the Germans, let them drink their beer. We'll do our best to keep you safe, but went some Islamic radical decides that Oktoberfest is an affront to god - don't come crying to us that one of the fuckers blew the shit out of some pub in Bonn or attacked a train full of civilians in Berlin. Anyway, onto the story:

BERLIN, Germany (CNN) -- Jeffrey Jamaleldine took a bullet to his chin that blew out much of his jaw and nearly killed him while deployed in Iraq last year. The sacrifice is just part of his job, he says, and he'd go back to Iraq in a second if asked.

Jeffrey Jamaleldine left Germany for college in America. In 2006, he joined the U.S. Army.

1 of 3 That is something that troubles his family, especially his father. Jamaleldine served in the U.S. Army as a German citizen, one of an estimated 20,500 "green-card warriors" in the military. Last month, Jamaleldine was awarded U.S. citizenship, but he's keeping his German passport.

Bashir Jamaleldine says his son is fighting an unjust war for an America that went too far when it invaded Iraq five years ago -- a sentiment shared by the majority of Germans. He wishes his son would get back to his "German roots." "It would satisfy me more. Why he's more American than a German, I don't know," he says. Shaking his head with his son at his side, he adds, "He is more American than German."

Jeffrey Jamaleldine, a 31-year-old U.S. Army scout who proudly wears a Stetson hat and spurs on his boots, laughs. He says he and his dad have had countless arguments over his decision to join the U.S. military, but the two never budge from their positions. "He hears what I'm saying, but there's just no coming through," he says.

The son agrees with his father on one thing: His love for America is unwavering. Jeffrey Jamaleldine moved to the United States to go to college in Missouri at the age of 18 and immediately fell in love with the United States and its culture.

"You can go from rags to riches there. People still believe in that. It is not something that has gotten lost," he says.

And when the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, happened, he felt it was time for him to do something.

"A small group of people [terrorists] -- I felt -- had a big influence on our way of life and that literally pissed me off," he says.

By accident, he says he found out that with his green card, he could join the U.S. military. And in 2006, he did just that. Last year, he paid a heavy price for his patriotism. Pinned down in a
firefight with insurgents in the Iraqi city of Ramadi, Jamaleldine was shot in the face. The left side his jaw was shattered and now doctors at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany are reconstructing his facial bones.

While many Americans would consider Jamaleldine a hero, most in his home country don't. Germans largely oppose the Iraq war. The criticism doesn't bother him. He says even after getting wounded on the battlefield, he would go fight for America again if ordered back to Iraq.

"I still don't want to die, I love life, I enjoy life," he says. "But I would still make the sacrifice to go to Iraq again if I am called. If I have to go, I will -- to stand up for what I believe in," he says.

His father looks on in disbelief as he listens to his son, now an American citizen. But Jeffrey Jamaleldine says joining the military was never about that, it was about defending American ideals.

"If we have people who want to change those ideals or take them away," he says, "then there are people like me or my platoon who stand up and fight for those ideals."

Political Science for Dummies

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST	You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST	You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION	You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION	You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION	You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION	You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION	You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION	You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION	You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION	You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

A Lesson in World History

For those that don't know much about history...... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these Liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant . Liberals are and were always symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: Most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe that Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off....

My Rx For the Iggles

With the NFL Free Agency period about to kick off I figured it was about time to get off my duff and write about the Eagles again.

First things first,

Where do I rank the Eagles "needs"
1. DL
2. OL
3. CB/S
4. WR

I believe their needs start in the trenches. Going in 2007, OL and DL figured to be a position of strength, but they really weren't as great as I think many of us gave them credit for being. Donovan took a beating last year as did A.J., and for all the guff I've been hearing about our lack of a big-play WR, it really doesn't matter who is running routes if the QB is on his back. However, I do NOT think the Eagles will address the OL in free agency. I see the Birds takes another OL in the first few rounds of the draft.

As for the Defense. Kearse, Howard, Von Oelhoffen, Reagor, Scott, were all but useless last year. Mike Patterson got busted for weed, so he'll probably miss a game or two from a team punishment aspect. Overall, the Eagles can depend on 4 guys: Juqua Thomas, Trent Cole, Mike Patterson and Broderick Bunkley. That's it. Will a guy like LaJuan Ramsey stick or can JJ find a role for the over-paid, underachieving Darren Howard? Perhaps, but to expect either to emerge as anything but occasional contributors is folly. What about Victor Abiamiri? Last year's 2nd round pick from Notre Dame? Well he certainly figures to be in the mix at DE. He barely played last year, but when he did, I did take notice (if only for the rarity).

Where does that leave the Birds? Well not is really good position. There is some talk about the Eagles being interested in some Titan DE's (Antwan Odom or Travis Laboy) or perhaps even Cincy's Justin Smith, who has never lived up to his first-round pick billing when the Bengals made him a top-5 guy a few years back. Still, as the best DE, in a mediocre pack, and with teams awash in cash, Smith is going to get paid. Believe you me. Since the Eagles don't seem to ever draft a D-Lineman and play them from the get-go (a few exceptions), Free Agency or a trade (it appears Kris Jenkins is being dangled by the Panthers) is probably their only route to improvement for 2008.

Who would I sign? wow, tough question. The best potential free agents were tagged. If I had to take a stab at it...I would think the Eagles would be most interested in Odom....personally I would go for Justin Smith IF his demands weren't astronomical. He's a solid end coming off a down year....so long as he is getting paid to be Richard Seymour or Julius Peppers he'd be a solid pick-up.

That brings us to the Secondary.
What would I do? Simple: sign Giants S Gibril Wilson....for two reasons, he's got the all-round skills to be Dawkins replacement AND it would substantially weaken a division rival. Would I go after Asante Samuel? Only if I were already trading Lito Sheppard for a WR....then it would make sense. However, If I'm strengthening safety in FA, then breaking the bank for Samuel is not an attractive option, and make no mistake, its going to take a shit-load of money to sign Samuel. Who else is out there to strengthen the secondary? The Broncos are shopping Foxworth...but he's a 3rd or 4th CB...and if we want one, we already have Joselio Hanson...who is a dime corner, but not much else.

Clean Jokes

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
********************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
*************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
***********************************************

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
***************************************************************

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
*******************************************

I Don't Care

I got this "I don't care" email from a friend and well, I liked it. Most of it is not mine, but I did add a couple of things.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by radical Islamists who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia.

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the ruthless leaders of these terror organizations stop using the poor, women and the mentally retarded as (sometimes) unwitting bombers.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about the government roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled, ' you can
absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!

If you don't agree, then by all means, go somewhere else.

A few final thoughts:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember the words of Britain's former Prime Minister Tony Blair: When asked by a member of Parliament why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

George Carlin's solution to Save Gasoline:

---

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved. If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends.

Are You a Dead-Head?

And no, I don't mean are you a Jerry Garcia fan. I'm talking about the real dead....George A. Romero-style....coming back, shambling around, trying to feast on the living.

ok, so Romero's Dead series, after a great beginning with Night of the Living Dead in 1968, reached its pinnacle with the original Dawn of the Dead in the 70s. Day of the Dead was, well, let's just be generous and call it bad, while his renewed vision Land of the Dead....had its moments, but all-in-all was merely alright, and definitely overshadowed by some other zombie-uprising movies (like the Dawn of the Dead remake, 28 Days Later, heck even Shaun of the Dead....).

Well anyway, if you enjoy the series like I do, check out the exclusive trailer Romero has put on MySpace for his new (hopefully) series: Diary of the Dead.

A Post-Season Post Mortem

The worst part about the Eagles season ending last week. Nothing else to look forward to football-wise until some media-created sensations like the Free Agency declaration deadline and the NFL Network-hyped Scouting Combine....yikes....

But as the litany of mistakes and miscues turned 2007 into a "coulda, woulda, shoulda" situation, it became obvious the team needs more playmakers to be a true contender. The Red-Zone Defense was awesome this year, but its not enough to simply stop the other team, a championship-caliber defense chimes in with a few scores of it own (the '07 Eagles got NONE) and causes periodic turnovers that put the offense in prime scoring position (a real rarity this year). In fact, the Eagles did the opposite, the Offense routinely put the defense behind the proverbial eight-ball and repeatedly coughed up an early pick-six INT that gave an opponent an early lead (both the Pats and Seahawks in games that wound up being closely-contested and easily join the shoulda/woulda W column).

Roster changes. Rich Hoffman sees it this way: That said, I see about four new starters: tight end, left guard, defensive end, fullback (with DE the most important. And this assumes that cornerback Lito Sheppard returns healthy.) I see a new third wide receiver and a real return specialist. I see draft picks aimed at the future: cornerback, safety, offensive line, running back.

I see it this way: Unless a real talent drops into the Eagles' laps during the draft, they will stick with Celek at TE. Competition will open up along the O-line - look for at least 1 draft choice and a couple of undrafted guys to be towed in to shake-up the complacency... Runyan stays and he and Andrews form a solid right wall....not sure about the left side though....

DE - Kearse leaves, and probably Howard - though I think Darren Howard's versatility along the D-Line could lead to his return in a support role (albeit at a grossly over-inflated paycheck for such duties). Old re-treads like Kimo VO and Montae Reagor get replaced. Patterson doesn't need veteran leadership anymore. He IS the veteran, and Bunkley be in year 3. If LaJuan Ramsey isn't ready to step-in and fill a more prominent 3rd DT role, then he need to go at this point.

FB - See if you can snag Schmitt from WVU, he's a bruising blocker and he's got good hands. Something AR should like. Tapeh can be adequate at times, and that's being generous.

DBs - Bye bye Will James, hello to new contracts to for restricted FAs Joselio Hanson and JR Reed. At least tendered offers that keep them coming back for 2008. YES, that does not preclude the Eagles from either bringing in a better UFA Corner and/or drafting both a CB and a Safety, but Reed proved he can play, and I think mmm-bop wound up playing better than Will James did this year. Hanson knows the system, and while a guy like Nick Graham could actually have more talent, he's got to learn his role and step-up....Hanson filled in OK (not great mind you) when called upon. He's not going to be anything more than a decent 4th CB in this league....but fuck, at least we have that, one less hole to fill.

LB - Spikes comes back and the young guys take another step next year. Maybe Gocong plays more stand-up DE because it really looks like JJ needs to find a way to get Steward Bradley on the field. That dude was tearing it up, making some plays in his limited role at the end of the season.

Special Teams - Dorenbos is set as the Long-snapper, and I think the comments about Rocca and Akers being comfortable with him suggests the Eagles believe they are ok at P and K. Not to say that there won't be some new legs brought in to be tested out, but just that Rocca gets another year to settle in and prove what he learned from 2007 and Akers gets a pass as well after struggling this year. Struggle in 2008??? and things won't be so kind in 2009. Reno, bless his heart, got another year out of his unlikely pro-football career, but methinks that was it. GO FIND A FUCKING RETURN MAN.

I'll do the rest of the offense later

Ahmed the Dead Terrorist Returns for the Holidays

Achmed The Dead Terrorist - Jingle Bombs - For more funny movies, click here

More funny puppet shit

The Christmas Haul

Well, Christmas is the season of giving, and we certainly ensure there is plenty to open on our Christmas morn....(especially for those animals)...

We have 11 separate smaller videos to post on Google Video, and I'm sure they'll all make their way onto the blog.

We got quite a haul this Christmas. Movies galore (they're easy to ship and both of our Amazon wishlists were full of various videos) and our HD movies list sky-rocketed. Counting the 5 "rebate movies we got (which arrived on Christmas Eve) we scored over 20 new titles, including: the new Blade Runner 5 disc-set, the Ocean's trilogy (11,12,13), The Bourne Identity, Shrek the Third, The Transformers, Training Day, Road Warrior (woohoo!), Lethal Weapon, Swordfish (the prior 4 in a four-pack), National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Casablanca, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick, Blazing Saddles and We Were Soldiers - all on HDDVD....then on Blu-ray I gave Christina the Die Hard Collection, Fifth Element, the 300, and Final Fantasy. And that doesn't count television series, where Christina scored the first 6 season of That 70s Show, Daria, season 3 of Medium; while I got Lost - Season 3, Prison Break - season 2, and Smallville -season 6. Hollywood writer's strike? What strike? fellas I won't know the difference for months!

The more traditional haul included lots of LL Bean socks and warm things (get cold here ya know), a couple of throw blankets, Christmas ornaments (again we each got the other the same Santa in the Service military one....our fleet of ships continues to grow), books (Freakanomics, The World is Flat, The U.S. Intelligence Community, one on Kim Jong-il, and a few others including one by my favorite fantasy author Raymond E. Feist: Murder in LaMut.

As for the Eagles stuff: the folks scored me a new 75th Anniversary Dawkins #20 jersey (and it worked btw - they beat the Saints when I wore it), a little clock and a 2008 calendar.

We also got a crock-pot from Christina's aunt and a note that our crockpot inventory has doubled because the folks got us one as well. So we went from no crock pots to two in the span of a few days.

But what about the games??!! Well it was good year for Microsoft, because our XBox 360 collection expanded quite nicely. I got Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed, while Christina got the Simpson's Game (its co-op), then after Christmas we went to the BX and lo' and behold, they not only had Guitar Hero III, but also plenty of Gibson guitar controllers....SO we used the money Christina's grandmother sent us to get GH III and two guitars (one for each of us ya know - its another Co-Op game!). Guitar Hero III is a little hard, and I still think I might get Rock Band (the OTHER musical rhythm game out this year), but her friend Annabelle has GH III, so they can play online now. I also downloaded about 5 "new" games from XBox Live - I didn't realize that most of the coin-op classics were just five bucks.....so now I have some games like Contra, Jetpac, Tempest, Smash TV, etc to help ween away those spare minutes....

Nothing new for the PS3 - they just don't have as many cool games. Though the download PAIN is awesome! Good thing I don't depend on it for my gaming entertainment.

As for the DS - Christina got Sudokuro - which has both Sudoku and Kakuro games. Oh, and Scott, you got me a lot with those Amazon gift certs man....another book (Joel Rosenberg's Paladins II, the Transformers score, the Matrix Trilogy on HDDVD plus two DS games: Orcs and Elves, and Warhammer 40,000: Squad Command).

Videos to come soon

Jump-Starting ye ole Blog

Well folks its been awhile and that probably means that I've lost whatever meager viewership I actually had. Oh well. Easy come, easy go.

So what have I been doing?
Working, getting ready for the holidays, and playing lots of Call of Duty 4.

But you know plenty of stuff has been going on that requires comment:

First the ridiculous: The assertion that Mike Huckabee deliberately put in a subliminal cross symbol in his recent Merry Christmas ad. Did you catch it? Perhaps....since you were probably looking for it. The supposed cross is the bookshelf behind Huckabee....look folks, I am not a Huckabee fan (I don't "heart" Huckabees - that MOVIE SUCKED), but I think folks are going over the line trying to parse everything in every single candidates' lives.

And who the fuck is Ron Paul, and why is he even commenting about this? Get a last name douchebag.

Second, I found a great website for the old Commodore 64 - perhaps the greatest computer-gaming platform in history. Check out C64.com!

Third, a complaint. What game developer in this day and age creates a game with a fixed camera? Take Conan for instance.
Conan for the XBox 360 is pretty good, but implementation could have been a whole lot better.

Lets go down the line:

Graphics - a bit of letdown. I believe that the designers are trying to emulate the visual style of the many fantasy paintings done of Conan, and it sections it really works and looks outstanding. In other areas, especially the Queen/companion and other cutpieces - the graphics are laughable and the water effects are some of the worst this side of a PS1.

Gameplay - the fighting can be fantastically fun at time. The different fighting styles (two-handed, dual-wield, sword-n-shield) all have their own special moves. Lately I\'ve been partial to the Shield, which allows for some nasty Parry-then-attack death blows. And any game that tracks the number of limbs hacked off earns points in my book.

Voice-Acting - I didn't mind Ron Perlman and Claudia Black is good. The game definitely could've used a few more quips here and there and you'll hear every single one within the first 30 minutes of play.

Is it fun? - This is the real kicker, because at its core - hacking and slashing waves of itching-to-lose-limbs-enemies can be both extremely entertaining and satisfying. HOWEVER, sometimes the action gets bogged down by a truly dismal fixed cinematic camera. How any game designer in this day and age could believe that a fixing the camera and torturing players with some retarded perspectives is the way to go is beyond me. In many places you can forgive it. But when the came doesn't track properly and you forced to do one of the multitude of jumping sequences near-blind. Well, lets just say that the curses start to get dropped rather liberally in my household. It REALLY detracts from my pleasure with the game. Please game developers, listen to us gamers, give US the option to play the game HOW WE WANT TO.

Every Team Won but the One I WANTED

Jeez folks, had a great, absolutely great football weekend....except for the fact that the only team I truly care about fucked things up and handed yet another potential win to the opposition.

I mean Saturday was a tremendous football day. Navy crushed Army 38-3....my alma mater Pitt pulled off one of the biggest upsets of the year, stunning West Virgina 13-9 in the Backyard Brawl and ending WVU's BCS title hopes, and Hawaii (my most recent home state) stayed undefeated, going 12-0 by coming back to beat Washington 35-28 in front of a raucous home crowd.

BOTH of my fantasy football teams rocked the house as well. I made the playoffs in one league, and looked to secure a spot in the final four in another....

and then the Eagles lose and its all suddenly worthless...dammit A.J....shithead...

oh what to do....perhaps shoot the shit out of some noobs in Call of Duty on my new 61" Panasonic HDTV! Hell yeah...Games and movies in 1080p! This shiznit is off da hizzle, my bizzle!
oops sorry..translation - that means its really good.